Ask Amy: Marrying couple seeks serving help
How can I resolve this?
– Devastated
Dear Devastated: The reason your husband kept this a secret is because he knew how you would react, and he didn’t want to cope with your emotions and feelings of betrayal. I strongly suspect that he loves and values you, and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
To grossly generalize, I don’t think men see viewing porn as a betrayal of their partners, because for them it isn’t necessarily personal – it’s sexual. Your husband chose to remain silent rather than describe his feelings and impulses.
I hope you can approach this without panicking in order to give him latitude to talk about this aspect of his life.
Dear Amy: Count me with all of the people who don’t like your advice to allow unmarried adults to sleep together in your house.
Our values do not allow for this, and our children know it. They wouldn’t even insult us by asking.
– Old-Fashioned
Dear Old-Fashioned: The question you are referring to (“Pondering Papa in the Pacific Northwest”) reflected two parents who disagreed about this.
========
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2024 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
