Life Advice
/Health
Ask Amy: Parents differ about sex happening in the house
Dear Amy: My wife and I have a difference of opinion regarding our 20-year-old daughter. We would love your perspective.
Our daughter is a sophomore at a university in Europe, and has recently started dating another sophomore (male) student.
When she comes home for the summer, he plans to visit.
In conversations with my wife, I have indicated...Read more
Ask Amy: Estrangement extends through generations
Dear Amy: My boyfriend of 10 years (with a few breaks) does not have a close relationship with his parents and really no relationship at all with his two siblings.
Little things have happened through the years that have upset people, and no one ever communicates or makes up with each other.
He also doesn't have good relationships with his ...Read more
Ask Amy: Marriage to a problem drinker has disintegrated
Dear Amy: I married my high school sweetheart. We’ve been together for 50 years.
We had a great sexual relationship until five years ago.
My husband has a serious drinking problem which I have tolerated for decades. He has called me nasty and vulgar names, and now does nothing but watch TV and drink. When my father died last year, he didn’...Read more
Ask Amy: High-schooler wants to avoid ex’s drama
Dear Amy: I’m a high school student, and I have an issue with my ex-boyfriend.
We dated for two years but then I broke up with him back in November. We got together again and tried to make it work, but I ended it again with him in early January.
Our relationship wasn't good. He was a very controlling person, wanting to decide what clothing I...Read more
Ask Amy: Manager is getting menaced at work
Dear Amy: I am a manager at my job.
Last June, a new employee transferred from a different unit. She was very upset the first couple of days. She also had a fear of reporting to her new supervisor (not me) because she thought she “looked mean.”
I explained how I manage and how our team works. She was appreciative.
She started bringing me ...Read more
Ask Amy: A loving mom wonders why her son is SO single
Dear Amy: Our 30-year-old son, “Thomas,” has a great job, is well-adjusted, and has many friends.
Thomas is outgoing and goes out with groups of friends, some of whom are married.
He is not dating anyone and hasn't “dated” (that we know of) since high school (i.e. going to proms, dances, etc.).
Thomas and I have a close relationship ...Read more
Ask Amy: DNA discovery leads to awkward reality
Dear Amy: I recently completed genetic testing and learned that my brother and I are half-siblings.
We have the same mother, but we do not have the same father.
Fortunately, my mother (who is in her late 80s) is still living, so I asked her about our fathers.
She said that my dad was sterile, so she and my dad used IVF to have my brother and ...Read more
Ask Amy: A demanding gram wants to lay down the law
Dear Amy: When our son visits us with his teenage daughter, she totally trashes her room during her stay.
As the grandmother and host, can I demand that she keep her room in some semblance of order?
– Demanding Gram
Dear Gram: It’s your home, and you can issue demands with abandon.
But your son should work with his daughter to teach her ...Read more
Ask Amy: Husband’s new friend becomes a menace
Dear Amy: My husband and I are in our mid-70s
“Steve” is 20 years younger. He befriended my husband and started stopping by our house, offering help with technical problems.
Steve would chat with me and then head to the "man cave" to watch sports on TV, etc. with my husband.
He seemed nice.
A couple of months ago, Steve grabbed my face ...Read more
Ask Amy: Grandmother crafts herself into a corner
Dear Amy: My son’s ex-wife, “Tammy,” recently had a baby with her new husband.
Tammy also has two children with my son.
I recently made slippers for my grandsons and sent the slippers to them.
I told my son about it, and now he’s asking me to make a pair of slippers for the new baby.
I don’t think I need to, as that baby is not my ...Read more
Ask Amy: Parents offer advice about emptying the nest
Dear Readers: A recent question from “Not So Empty Nest Mom” sought solutions on how to deal with her two adult daughters’ stuff, which was currently filling the family garage after the daughters had left home.
I asked readers to offer their own solutions, and this column is devoted to these suggestions.
Dear Amy: I have two sons. ...Read more
Ask Amy: Partner wants to tag along on business trip
Dear Amy: I am an art historian, out of graduate school for about five years. I am now pursuing my Ph.D., also teaching, and am starting to get invited to do presentations and sit on panels at academic conferences.
My problem is that my boyfriend says he would like to come with me to my first conference to, as he says, “Cheer me on.”
I’m...Read more
Ask Amy: Friend won’t let bestie be ‘the other woman’
Dear Amy: I believe my best friend “Lara” may knowingly be the “other woman” in an affair. Lara has recently started seeing “Jonas,” an ex from her college days.
He contacted her about six months ago and it began as a friendly conversation from afar (they live in different states).
They've seen each other in person twice now – ...Read more
Ask Amy: Corrupt cop’s legacy is kept a secret
Dear Amy: My father in-law is a retired law enforcement officer. Due to scientific advances since his retirement, it turns out that much of his career was a sham. DNA evidence has exonerated many of the people that he put behind bars – to such a large extent that a television network chose to air a story about him and his corrupt practices a ...Read more
Ask Amy: Wife seeks distance from husband’s crimes
Dear Amy: I was so sad and embarrassed to learn that my ex-husband was involved in corporate crimes during the time we were married.
One of two cases and the related court dockets and evidence reveal participation in a complex scheme that resulted in the plaintiff company being awarded a huge settlement.
I quietly left the marriage and took a ...Read more
Ask Amy: For brothers, the path is paved with eggshells
Dear Amy: My brother and I have always had a tenuous relationship.
Our father was abusive, but we are both in mid-life and have led fairly successful and stable lives.
I often have to walk on eggshells when speaking with my brother because he always seems to read what I'm saying or doing as an attack.
Last New Year’s Eve, I was attending a ...Read more
Ask Amy: Mom wonders whether to snitch on teens
Dear Amy: I'm a mom of a young teenager. I've worked hard to foster a sense of trust and accountability.
I've asked my teen to be open with me about the actions of friends and acquaintances, good and bad, and have promised that in return for their honesty, I will not "snitch" unless a friend is in a serious situation (e.g. threats of suicide, ...Read more
Ask Amy: Elder traveler wants to go solo
Dear Amy: I love to travel. It’s almost an obsession, and age (I’m over 80) has not dulled my desire to GO. I had a good job and saved so that I could travel a lot in retirement.
My husband, however, has lost a lot of his wanderlust, and will only go if I beg and plead.
To keep us both happy, I take one or two trips a year by myself. I ...Read more
Ask Amy: New relationship displaces old friendship
Dear Amy: I have a very good friend named “Carl,” who recently began dating a guy named “Samuel.” Samuel is cold to me and seems threatened by my long-standing close friendship with Carl.
I’ve mentioned this to Carl, who’s been dismissive about it.
Recently, Carl had a significant birthday, and when I asked if he was doing anything...Read more
Ask Amy: Guilt for long-ago behavior won’t fade
Dear Amy: Forty years ago, my wife was pregnant for one trimester. I’ve never forgiven myself for how I acted during those few months.
The pregnancy was planned, but instead of being pleased, doubts and fears assailed me. Rather than being supportive and optimistic with my wife, I was bad-tempered and unsympathetic. I felt trapped and ...Read more