Family Film Reviews

"Wild Hogs" (PG-13, 1 hr., 40 min.)

If it weren't for a painfully slow start and a script riddled with crude language and sexual innuendo, much of it homophobic, "Wild Hogs" would have the makings of a popcorn-worthy family flick. Instead, it starts out dull and aimless, and when it finally does come together, nearly half-an-hour in, as an amusing if mindless romp about four middle-aged guys on a cross-country motorcycle trip, it is too lewd for audiences younger than high-school age. And even high-schoolers may be put off by a story about guys in midlife crisis looking like poseurs on their Harley hogs. The film also contains gross toilet humor, considerable midrange profanity, a skinny-dipping scene in which we see one character naked from the back, jokes about condoms and a prolonged subplot about a gay state trooper nearly stalking the guys. There is a comical free-for-all fight scene and some characters drink and smoke.

Staid Doug (Tim Allen), arrogant Woody (John Travolta), henpecked Bobby (Martin Lawrence) and shy bachelor Dudley (William H. Macy) ride their bikes on weekends, but now Woody, secretly bankrupt, decides they need a bigger adventure. He talks his pals into tossing their cell phones and taking off. Along the way, they attract a gay state trooper (John C. McGinley) and anger a real motorcycle gang in New Mexico (led by a tattooed Ray Liotta, spoofing his tough-guy filmography). They face their foes in a little town and Dudley finds love (with Marisa Tomei).

"Zodiac" (R, 2 hrs., 38 min.)

Its air heavy with cigarette smoke and 1970s newsroom and cop shop atmosphere, "Zodiac" will hold audiences tightly in its grasp as driven detectives and hungry reporters try to suss out the identity of the Zodiac serial killer who terrorized the San Francisco Bay Area for years with random murders and frustrating clues and misdirection in handwritten letters. Despite the movie's excessive length, mature-for-their-age film buffs 16 and older should find "Zodiac" riveting as a fact-based crime saga, rich as a character study, and impressively naturalistic as an exercise in style -- director David Fincher's nod to 1940s filmmaking. Though the movie depicts several of Zodiac's crimes, the moments are, compared to many R-rated films, relatively understated. Still, they include point-blank shootings, stabbings, spattered blood and, in the moments before the attacks, petrified victims. An infant and mother are also shown at risk. One character uses drugs and several drink and smoke. Cops discuss in nongraphic terms a suspect's past molestation of children and we see a sex toy he owns. The script contains some strong profanity.

The cast, based on real people, clicks right down to the walk-ons. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Robert Graysmith, a young editorial cartoonist at the San Francisco Chronicle in 1969, when the Zodiac killer first blipped on the police and public radar. (The film is based on Graysmith's books about Zodiac.) Graysmith, along with hopelessly dissolute crime reporter Paul Avery (Robert Downey Jr.) and homicide detective David Toschi (Mark Ruffalo), becomes obsessed to the point of distraction with finding the Zodiac killer. The case, this movie contends, damages all their lives.

P.S. FOR FILM BUFFS 16 AND OLDER: One of the most brilliant crime films ever made was "M" (1931), an early talkie made in pre-Nazi Germany about cops and gangsters cooperating to track down a child killer. Try to get a copy with subtitles, not with dialogue dubbed into English. Hearing the real actors is always better. The killer is played by the great Peter Lorre at the start of his career, which soon took him to Hollywood. Also see him in the classic Hollywood crime drama, "The Maltese Falcon" (1941).

"Black Snake Moan" (R, 1 hr., 56 min.)

Writer/director Craig Brewer's bizarre "Black Snake Moan" is a lurid Southern gothic tale that looks like an old pulp fiction magazine cover and sounds like the prose inside. It is not for high-schoolers under 17. A sexually ravenous (and pathologically promiscuous) young white woman named Rae (Christina Ricci), damaged by a childhood of molestation, is temporarily shanghaied by a grizzled, Bible-toting black farmer called Lazarus (Samuel L. Jackson), recently abandoned by his wife. He decides to cure Rae of her "wickedness." The film may be set in the present, but it has incredibly retro attitudes about women. It displays Rae in bikini briefs and braless, midriff-baring tops, often chained by Lazarus to his radiator so she won't wander off. The two do not have a sexual relationship (though their scenes are sexually charged), but there are numerous explicit sexual situations (including a scene in which Rae seduces a boy nearer 14 than 18, though their coupling remains off-screen), suggestive dancing, toplessness, strong profanity, crude, misogynistic sexual slang and racial slurs. Characters drink, smoke, use drugs, fight and brandish guns.

The movie's two saving graces are a neat blues soundtrack (Lazarus plays guitar and sings) and the hugely talented, but often insufficiently challenged, Jackson, chomping into a meaty role. Justin Timberlake is good, too, as Rae's troubled boyfriend, whose departure for National Guard duty sets her on a sex, booze and drugs binge that gets her beaten up, left for dead, then "rescued" by Lazarus. Ricci shows acting bravery as Rae, but her work is very forced, even for this film.

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Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages

-- 8 AND OLDER:

"Bridge to Terabithia" PG (Touching story (based on Katherine Paterson's 1977 novel) about a deep friendship between fifth-graders Jess (Josh Hutcherson), a budding artist from a rural family that largely ignores him, and Leslie (AnnaSophia Robb), a free-spirited daughter of wealthy writers; the two create their own fantasy world, Terabithia, in the woods, facing down bullies there and in the real world; film's gritty naturalism is marred by a charmless, computer-animated effort to visualize Terabithia. Under-8s may be spooked by swooping, furry vultures, giant trolls, armored attack squirrels, and a huge tree that turns into a troll (pretty cool, actually) in Terabithia; adults use mild profanity; kid-scuffles with bloodied noses; verbal references to a girl whose dad hits her; kids discuss religion; WARNING -- PLOT GIVEAWAY: Central theme in film's last act deals with grief and loss.)

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-- 10 AND OLDER:

"The Astronaut Farmer" PG (Disappointing family film -- oddly inert, narratively disjointed, emotionally flat -- about a one-time astronaut named Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton) who left the space program before ever getting to leave the Earth; now a Texas rancher, he is determined to go up on his own and has built a rocket and space capsule in his barn; his wife (Virginia Madsen) supports his dream, but doesn't know they're nearly bankrupt; the FBI takes note after he buys high-grade fuel; they send an old astronaut buddy (Bruce Willis) to stop him with logic, then threats; he responds a bit like a survivalist or conspiracy-smelling crank. Occasional profanity, crude language; sexual innuendo; accident injuries; themes about suicide, depression; grandparent dies; marital argument; beer.)

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-- PG-13s AND A PG FOR HIGH-SCHOOLERS:

"Wild Hogs" (NEW) (Slow to start, but ultimately amusing comedy about four middle-aged Cincinnati guys (Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy) who toss their cell phones and go on a cross-country motorcycle trip; in New Mexico they face a "real" motorcycle gang (led by Ray Liotta) and prove themselves. Too lewd to be a total family comedy; crude language; sexual innuendo -- much of it homophobic; gross toilet humor; considerable midrange profanity; a skinny-dipping scene with a character naked from behind; condom joke; prolonged subplot about a gay state trooper (John C. McGinley) who nearly stalks the guys; free-for-all fight; drinking, smoking. OK for high-schoolers.)

"Ghost Rider" (Glitzy, energized, if nonsensical fable (based on the Marvel comic) about stunt motorcyclist, Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage), who as a teen, sold his soul to Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda) to save his dad from cancer; as an adult he tries to be good -- doesn't drink, listens to the Carpenters, rekindles a romance with his teen sweetheart, now a TV reporter (Eva Mendes) -- in hopes of negating his devilish deal; but the devil wants Johnny as his bounty hunter, chasing after the rogue demon Blackheart (Wes Bentley) and his pals; at night Johnny is the Ghost Rider, ablaze on a superbike, trying to stop ordinary evil as well as Blackheart; a mysterious church caretaker (Sam Elliott) helps him. Fights; skull-faced demons; middling profanity; smoking; drinking; mild sexual innuendo.)

"Breach" (Utterly gripping film meticulously recounts how the FBI in 2001 snared Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper), a traitorous agent who, for more than 20 years, had been selling secrets to the Soviet Union, then Russia, under the noses of his FBI colleagues; Ryan Phillippe as agent-in-training Eric O'Neill, chosen to be Hanssen's clerk and keep him in the dark while a huge team (Laura Linney as a key agent) plots to catch Hanssen in the act. Steamy, though nonexplicit bedroom scenes; nongraphic references to Hanssen's sexual habits: videotaping "rough" sex with his wife, talk of his relationship with a stripper; crude sexual language; fairly strong profanity. More for high-schoolers.)

"Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls" (Preachy, broadly played, mildly entertaining comic melodrama about a good-hearted inner-city man (impressive Idris Elba) who served time for a rape he didn't commit and now works as a garage mechanic and chauffeur, trying to raise three daughters and keep them away from their gang-and-drug-involved mom (Tasha Smith); when she gets a judge to place the kids with her for their "safety," he asks a hotshot woman lawyer (always excellent Gabrielle Union) he has been chauffeuring to help; she is too snooty to respect such a humble man and finds his family troubles distasteful, but eventually she sees the light. Passionate, nongraphic sexual innuendo; drug theme; mild violence, threats; rare profanity; drinking. High-schoolers.)

"Music and Lyrics" (Smart, hilarious, humane, wonderfully performed and visualized romantic comedy about a washed-up former '80s pop star (Hugh Grant, in fine form) who teams with a ditzy former writing student (ebullient Drew Barrymore) to create a new anthem for a teen music icon (Haley Bennett); the pair's insecurities and eventual romantic involvement thicken the plot -- though not much; riotous spoofs of past and present pop music and music videos. Implied overnight tryst with kissing, morning-after snuggle; sexually suggestive dancing; occasional mild profanity; verbal references to drugs; comic description of a music video looking like an "orgasm set to the 'Gandhi' soundtrack.")

"Norbit" (Crass, crude, politically incorrect but often funny farce celebrates Eddie Murphy's gift for bringing wildly diverse characters to life through pounds of makeup; Norbit (Murphy), a milquetoast married to big, mean Rasputia (also Murphy), gains the gumption to stand up to her and her thuggish family after his lovely childhood pal (Thandie Newton) comes to town. Much sexual innuendo, including unkind views of Rasputia in a bikini, the tub, in bed; all outfits outlining anatomically correct breasts; nongraphic jokes refer to bedroom antics, the size of a little boy's penis, pimps (comics Eddie Griffin and Katt Williams), prostitutes, condoms; threats of violence; lots of rhymes-with-witch and the S-word; sexual language; ethnic stereotyping; Rasputia purposely drives over a dog; we later see the pooch wearing wheels to get around; she chases kids, yelling, "Don't think I won't kill a child"; flatulence jokes. Iffy for middle-schoolers.)

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-- R's:

"Zodiac" (NEW) (Long but riveting, satisfyingly naturalistic fact-based crime saga about search for San Francisco Bay Area's random, frightening Zodiac killer in 1969 and for many years after, focusing on a homicide detective (Mark Ruffalo), a newspaper cartoonist (Jake Gyllenhaal, as Robert Graysmith, whose books about Zodiac inspired the film) and a crime reporter (Robert Downey Jr.), who all become obsessed with, and damaged by, the case. Depiction of Zodiac killings is fairly understated, but still includes point-blank shootings, stabbings, spattered blood; an infant and its mother shown at risk; drug use, drinking, smoking; cops discuss in nongraphic terms a suspect's molestation of children; we see a sex toy suspect owns; strong profanity. 16 and older.)

"Black Snake Moan" (NEW) (Lurid, pulpy, misconceived southern-gothic drama about a sexually ravenous, pathologically promiscuous young white woman (Christina Ricci) who gets beaten and left for dead, and the grizzled, misguided, blues-singing black farmer (Samuel L. Jackson) who decides he'll "cure" her "wickedness" by chaining her to his radiator and making her see the light; distressingly retro view of women, though set in the present, with Ricci perpetually in briefs and midriff-baring, braless tops; blues soundtrack and Jackson in a meaty role are film's positives; their scenes are sexually charged but the two leads do not have a sexual relationship; other explicit sexual situations include her seduction of a boy clearly under 18 -- their coupling occurs off-screen; verbal references, flashbacks hint at her childhood molestation; toplessness; strong profanity; crude, misogynistic sexual slang; racial slurs; drinking, smoking; drug use; fighting; guns. Not for under-17s.)

"Reno 911!: Miami" (NEW) (Feature film based on Comedy Central's cable series is raunchy, profane, often droll, but with too many lame, under-scripted gags; show's improvised style needs more shape in this longer form; the dumber-than-a-box-of-rocks deputies of Reno's (fictional) sheriff's department go to a law enforcement convention in Miami and wind up accidentally in charge of that city for a brief, disastrous while; Thomas Lennon as their commanding officer in short-shorts; Paul Rudd as a drug lord. Explicit comic masturbatory and other sexual situations; topless women; men in g-strings; crude sexual language; very strong profanity; joke about rape; gay stereotypes and humor; gunplay; drinking; smoking; drug use; toilet humor. Not for under-17s.)

"The Number 23" (Jim Carrey in visually inventive but narratively muddle-headed, pseudo-film noirish mess of a thriller that starts out tantalizingly with a kind of mystical numerological mystery, then veers fatally into tiresome psychological claptrap; animal control officer Walter Sparrow's (Carrey) simple life disintegrates after his wife (Virginia Madsen) buys him a novel titled "The Number 23" about a homicide detective (also Carrey); as the cop becomes obsessed with mysticism surrounding the number 23, so does Walter, who keeps seeing himself in re-enactments of the book. Recurring suicide theme -- stylized depictions of throat slitting, jumping out of buildings, hanging, slit wrists; murder victims in pools of blood; semiexplicit sexual situations, some with implied sadomasochism or death obsession; other sexual innuendo; profanity. 16 and older.)