ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend and I frequently get together for lunch at local restaurants. I am sometimes embarrassed by what my friend says to servers, and I don't know how I can get her to stop.

If the service is good, she is very effusive with her praise, and ties up the server by chatting as if they were now BFFs. If she thinks the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a live theater performance. Seated directly in front of me was a very tall woman whose hair was styled in an updo that added -- seriously -- five or six inches to her height!

I could not see the stage at all unless I leaned uncomfortably left or right, and each time she shifted in her seat, I had to shift in mine. ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have some friends who regularly host a tailgate party in the parking lot of the college football stadium near our house. We walk to the tailgate, and then go home once the game begins.

Hosting this tailgate is "their thing," and they seem to enjoy being hosts.

Our other interactions with these friends center around our ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to a pretty bad injury years ago, I now work a job that is 100% remote. This means many, many video meetings. Most meetings start with the "Hi, how are you?" or "Good game on Sunday, did you see it?" questions and random chitchat.

But for the past couple of weeks, topics I consider unprofessional have been brought up. ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I will be visiting London soon, and will see several theatrical productions. One play will feature a famous American actress whom we've never met, but who is a friend of a friend.

Our friend suggested we send a note backstage with a greeting. Is it proper to include our own contact information in the note? I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a party at my house with a few friends and family members. Guest A complimented my decor and asked if she could help with prep. I assured her that my adult children were great helpers; they knew their way around the kitchen as they had grown up in this house.

She chatted with us for a while and then mingled with other ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sent out a dinner invitation to my in-laws. My brother-in-law called my husband to confirm attendance. He added that he will be bringing his boyfriend, and will require certain food accommodations because the boyfriend was just discharged from the hospital a couple of days ago after a major organ transplant surgery.

I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a woman who works at a home repair store, where I routinely help customers load heavy merchandise into their vehicles. I am a small woman who is strong for her size. A lot of times, customers are surprised to see this, but most people let me do my job.

Once in a while, I'll get somebody who doesn't approve. One woman ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like you to address behavior at the open mic at a funeral. Some people have a knack for comforting the grieving and eliciting gentle laughter with a sweet story. Others have droned on about knowing the deceased very well ... cutting to the chase, it turns out they just filled their gas tank a few times. (True story!)

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a layover at the airport, so I sat down at a bar. Nobody greeted me. There was a touchscreen terminal at the counter for customers to place orders, so I did.

In about 10 minutes, someone plopped my drink down in front of me (the same person who was mopping up a spilled drink). Still no greeting.

I have worked in the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For several years, I have been in a prestigious club that helps children. In that time, I have been ridiculed about almost anything I do. I am talked about because my clothes, hair, eyebrows, etc., are a bit nicer than the other women's. The men usually just sit and listen, but now some of them are joining in.

I was on the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It used to be the bride who proclaimed that the wedding was Her Day. As soon as that attitude resulted in many of them being called "Bridezilla," everyone else started popping up to proclaim it Her Day (or The Couple's Day).

Does the mother of the bride want to exclude her ex -- who treated her abominably in the divorce, and ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm lucky enough to work at a place where everyone generally gets along very well. We have one newer person who is nice, but has one annoying quirk: She randomly inserts baby talk into the conversation.

For example, instead of saying, "I'm sorry you've had a rough day," it's "Awww, I sowwy you had a wuff day," accompanied by ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For my 40th birthday, my sister planned a bowling party. She is very organized, and pre-entered the names of all 12 guests into the lanes (two lanes, six people at each).

My dad arrived late, while we were in the fourth frame, and unexpectedly brought his girlfriend, Tiffany. My mom, his ex-wife, had stepped away and it ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A pair of neighbors hosted my wife and me for an impromptu dinner, to which we contributed a nice salad. The food was fine, the apartment lovely. We have sent them a thank-you note.

I know that we aren't required to reciprocate by inviting them to dinner in our apartment (thank goodness). But honestly, I don't want to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I, along with a friend, pre-purchased hard-to-get opera tickets. We've looked forward to attending for many months.

However, we just learned that our companion intends to bring her extremely unruly "comfort" poodle -- not only to the opera, but also to a lovely restaurant for dinner beforehand. This dog is ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a good friend who is the polar opposite of me on politics, religion and almost every other subject. We are cognizant of these differences, and refrain from debate or argument on these subjects. Amazingly, we still have things to talk about!

However, she sent me a letter in which she requested that I support a nonprofit...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a number of friends I regularly meet for meals out, as well as for friends' birthdays. We've been friends for going on 40 years and first began socializing after college, when all of us were starting our careers, paying off loans and living on shoestring budgets.

Decades later, we still keep up the tradition of paying ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live near a university, and graduate students are always looking for odd jobs to make extra money. One of them does my laundry twice a week, and always returns it beautifully folded.

This week there was a surprise: a clean pair of red underwear with a reinforced, O-shaped opening in the crotch. It was quite well-made, and ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My first pregnancy has been 10 years in the making due to infertility. I would like to tell some specific friends the news before I announce it in general on social media.

However, when I try to start a conversation with these friends, such as via text, they talk about themselves and don't ask how I am, so I don't have a good...Read more