Life Advice
/Health
Single File: The Sincerest Remembrance
DEAR SUSAN: I find myself in an unbelievable situation. My fiance died three months ago after a long battle with cancer. Six week later, his best friend's wife died after her own fight with the same kind of cancer. That friend was wonderfully supportive of me during my fiance's illness, phoning me every day and continuing to call to see how I ...Read more
Single File: Mirage for 2
DEAR SUSAN: I've been writing to a man on an online dating service for four months. We're both single, and he seems to know I'm hung up on him. But now he says he doesn't want to write to me as often as before. He says writing to me isn't fun anymore! What can I do to let him know how much I care for him? -- Clara
DEAR CLARA: Four months does ...Read more
Single File: Why Not Marry?
DEAR SUSAN: My mother and I have talked over the same question you asked today. And here's what I've come up with:
No. 1: MARRIAGE IS HARD TO GET OUT OF. I grew up thinking my father paid so little attention to my mother she might as well be single. And yet she was stuck -- unhappy, neglected, unwilling to divorce on moral grounds, maybe even ...Read more
Single File: True and (Sometimes) False
DEAR SUSAN: Your "true or false" quiz really has me thinking!
You ask us to respond to the statement "Men and women cannot be friends; they're too dissimilar." I find that to be both true and false. Men I've already had a relationship with can continue our friendship but at arm's length. The emotional closeness I feel with female friends simply...Read more
Single File: Tipster
When was the last time you took a trip? A genuine, out-of-neighborhood venture, not a trip to the local amusement park sort of thing. Well, dear heart, I'm here to encourage you to start planning a major motion. And the first step is going to a travel agency to look through its travel brochures. The conversation between the two of you will lead ...Read more
Single File: Reentry (Part 2)
Around the same time the newly singled realize their bed-hopping adventures actually make them lonelier, a growing awareness of themselves as a distinct entity takes hold. Standing on one's own, recognized as a person in one's own right, starts to feel good. Really good. The loneliness is still there, of course, felt most in the early-morning ...Read more
Single File: Reentry (Part 1)
Coming back to home base is never easy. Astronauts are well aware of the complexity of returning to Earth's atmosphere. Immigrants resettling in the homeland must face the challenge of unlearning new ways while relearning the ones from childhood. And (deep, deep sigh) singletons are faced with the momentous challenge of rejoining peers after a ...Read more
Single File: Letting Go
The ongoing battle to hold on to our hard-earned personhood while in a love relationship demands self-confidence and self-awareness. But what about encouraging your beloved to also be an individual? What about having the maturity (hate the word) and wisdom (a much better one) to grant them -- nay, encourage them -- to own breathing space to be ...Read more
Single File: Ticklish Questions
Parenting is a privilege. Being the main influence in the lives of your children is an honor and a blessing. And at times, a royal pain in the neck!
But single parenting has to be -- hands down -- the most complex, demanding situation in all of the single world. It's exhausting, complicated, seemingly never-ending, emotionally draining -- and ...Read more
Single File: Reasons Why
DEAR SUSAN: The other day, a friend said that I'm angry at men and I seem to resent them, even if they're nice. Any thoughts on why this could be? -- Sallie D., New York City
DEAR SALLIE: There are many possible roots to your anti-male mindset, starting with the family dynamics in your home. I'd like you to scan the whole list of possibilities ...Read more
Single File: Father as Mother
A recent letter in this column has stirred up a virtual hornet's nest. It comes from a 30-something man who -- vigorously and rather unpleasantly -- stakes claim to nearly all parenting rights and privileges in his (hypothetical) marriage. At the moment, he's neither husband nor parent. But he has thought through the battles he'd wage. Example: ...Read more
Single File: The Wise 30s
Dear Susan: I used to only date men who were taller than me. But now I'm engaged to someone almost 3 inches shorter than I am, and honestly, he's such a great person I couldn't care less. (From the internet)
Dear Blogger: At last, good sense makes a comeback! (I don't know your age, but I'll bet my shiny new printer you're upwards of 30. That ...Read more