ArcaMax

Dear Susan: I used to only date men who were taller than me. But now I'm engaged to someone almost 3 inches shorter than I am, and honestly, he's such a great person I couldn't care less. (From the internet)

Dear Blogger: At last, good sense makes a comeback! (I don't know your age, but I'll bet my shiny new printer you're upwards of 30. That seems to be the decade when good sense returns to the feminine psyche, and it usually arrives with a shock and a poke in the ribs (the Adam-donated rib, of course). But as adviser to my sisters, getting there has been quite a trip! I've had to stand by and offer (ignored) advice to femmes totally electrified by the slouch of a bad boy's shoulder; women who, even when done dirty by him, turned a deaf ear to my pleadings -- and coldly refused to see him as bad news. I've explained my heart out about the quiet fellow, the man short on fancy words but extra-long on sincerity and devotion. But those woman-hours at the keyboard were often totally ignored/overlooked by the under-30s. Still, I hoped. And plodded on, hopeful yet discouraged, doubtful but nevertheless persisting, confident (at times), counting on maturity and fate to bring another epiphany. Oh, how I've shouted from the rooftops (not literally) to anyone who'd listen that it only takes one good chap -- height too trivial to mention -- to open those baby blues to the reality of loving a good friend. You, dear woman, have made the discovery that will change your life. Not to mention the lives of all those 5-foot-something men out there. Plus -- if they're still with us -- the lives of many shortsighted 20-year-old girls. (Every pun intended.)

UNDESIRABLE MALE QUALITIES:

--His first words as you open the front door: "I don't know -- what do YOU want to do?" Hasn't a single suggestion. Ever.

--He expects to stay the night -- without being invited.

--He expects you to spend every second of your free time with him.

--He expects both of you to do things with his friend, never yours.

--He has no female friends who are just friends.

--He cannot understand how you have male friends who are just friends.

--His frail ego is wounded when you treat him to dinner.

--He brags about being a MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig).

--He expects you to cook for him but never cooks for you.

--His idea of entertainment? Watching TV and ordering in pizza.

Either sex is hereby invited to air their pet peeves and write their own list. I hereby pledge to give it newsprint, without making any changes. Promise.

========

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks -- in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.