Family Film Reviews

"Meet the Robinsons" (G, 1 hr., 32 min.)

Imagination, marching to a different drummer, creating your own family if you don't inherit one, and hope for the future fuel this handsome, time-traveling, computer-animated fable from Disney about a brilliant orphan inventor. There are a few dry patches and grown-ups may find the movie too crammed with characters and visual details. But supple-brained kids 6 and older will have no problem. At some theaters the film will be shown in 3-D and for once that technology doesn't darken the screen. It pops out, but not scarily. And the design is gorgeous: The future that spikey-haired, bespectacled, 12-year-old Lewis visits shows people riding in bubbles, but the main look is retro -- rainbowy art deco, with a dash of Fritz Lang's silent 1927 classic "Metropolis" for darker moments that warn of a dehumanized future run by robotic bowler hats.

Parents should note that "Meet the Robinsons" opens with a baby abandoned on an orphanage doorstep and depicts older kids seeing their chances of adoption fade. Lewis becomes obsessed with finding his real mom. The film deals -- humorously, but with underlying seriousness -- with issues of loneliness, failure, and childhood sadness haunting us into adulthood. The villain, pointy-headed "Bowler Hat Guy," wears a bowler that spouts metallic claws and chases folks. Lewis and Wilbur Robinson, a kid from the future, crash Wilbur's time machine. There are rude expressions such as "puke-face" and "booger-breath." A dinosaur-shaped topiary comes to life and chases everyone, too. Oh, and frogs sing jazz.

Loosely based on the book "A Day with Wilbur Robinson" by William Joyce, "Meet the Robinsons" hinges on Lewis' desire to find his mom and how he invents a "memory scanner." Wilbur appears at the school science fair and seems to know Lewis. He brings Lewis to the future to meet the riotously eccentric Robinson clan. Lewis finds affection there, but eventually realizes he must live his own life in his own time.

"Blades of Glory" (PG-13, 1 hr., 33 min.)

Is "Blades of Glory" a work of cinematic art? Naaaaah. Is it shamefully funny? Yeahhhh -- also tasteless and crude. Will it make high-schoolers laugh? More than likely, but it is far too lewd to recommend for middle-schoolers. Yet how can one not chortle at mushy-muscled Will Ferrell in sparkly Spandex as a dumb, sex-obsessed figure skating champ named Chazz Michael Michaels and dorky Jon Heder ("Napoleon Dynamite," PG, 2004) as his naive, slightly less stupid rival, Jimmy MacElroy, and the idea of the two teamed as the first male-male skating duo? Imagine the lifts, the lutzes, the crotch jokes! There are endless, R-ish verbal and visual sex jokes (just beyond innuendo) about macho Chazz's supposed "sex addiction." (He attends a lascivious sex-addicts' support group; he says he had an affair with a 35-year-old woman when he was 9.) And there is much homophobic humor -- a bit in which Ferrell holds Heder upside-down in a skating move as he gazes grimly across his crotch is typical. Ferrell wears a towel dangerously low in one scene. Characters drink and talk of being high on drugs. The movie spoofs adoption and includes a subtle incest joke, a death threat, a bizarre and bloody video of an ice stunt ending in an accidental decapitation, midrange profanity and toilet humor.

Chazz and Jimmy, who hate each other, ruin their solo careers by scuffling publicly and are banned for life. Three years later, Chazz is a drunk skating in a cheesy ice show and Jimmy sells skates. Then a fan/stalker (Nick Swardson) of Jimmy's and a veteran coach (Craig T. Nelson) both realize the two were not banned from couples skating. A brother-sister duo (Will Arnett and Amy Poehler) are bent on sabotaging their comeback and using their nicer sister Katie (Jenna Fischer) as bait.

P.S. FOR TEENS: It's actually quite difficult for movies to get to the heart of how (and why) athletes or artists do what they do. Many efforts come off as corny or romanticized. "Blades of Glory" makes fun of the world of competitive figure skating, but also gets at some truths about that insular world. If you want to see a really good movie about the same kind of artistic/athletic intensity, but shown in a serious but contemporary way, check out "The Company" (PG-13, 2003), about a young woman with a professional ballet company.

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Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages

-- 6 AND OLDER:

"Meet the Robinsons" G (NEW) (Gorgeous computer-animated feature (shown in crisp, colorful, non-scary 3-D at some theaters) celebrates imagination, individuality, creating a family when you don't have one, in tale of 12-year-old orphan inventor Lewis; his determination to find his real mom leads him to invent a "memory scanner" and brings Wilbur Robinson, a boy from the future, to his science fair; Wilbur brings Lewis to the future to meet the hilariously eccentric Robinson clan and see a world inspired by art deco and, at darker moments, the dehumanized future of Fritz Lang's 1927 classic, "Metropolis." Baby abandoned on orphanage step; sad older kids see adoption chances fade; issues of loneliness, failure, childhood sadness following us into adulthood handled humorously, but with underlying seriousness; "Bowler Hat Guy" villain wears a robotic bowler that spouts metal legs, chases folks; Lewis and Wilbur crash Wilbur's time machine; rude phrases "puke-face" and "booger-breath"; dinosaur topiary comes to life, chases folks.)

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-- 8 AND OLDER:

"TMNT" PG (First "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" feature since 1993 (there were three, in 1990, '91 and '93, all PGs), this time a computer-animated 'toon -- dimly lit as well as narratively murky, hard-edged, too violent for some under 10; the four Ninja Turtles (mutated long ago by a polluted "ooze" and named for Italian Renaissance artists Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello) have become estranged; their sensei, Master Splinter, says they must reconcile before facing a new threat -- reanimated stone warriors from ancient Central America, related to an artifact the Turtles' archeologist pal April (voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) has delivered to a museum director (Patrick Stewart). Semi-harsh language ("snot kicked out of him"); tired ethnic stereotypes; off-color joke kids won't get refers subtly to phone-sex industry; red-eyed monsters loom huge, as do the ancient warriors; battles not bloody, but big and loud.)

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-- 10 AND OLDER:

"The Last Mimzy" PG (Kids into science, idea of time travel will like film's cool premise, despite its messy, disjointed execution: a 10-year-old (Chris O'Neil) and his little sister (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) find a box on the beach, full of spinning, humming rocks and crystals, plus a stuffed bunny that "talks" to the little girl about saving a doomed world; soon their parents (Timothy Hutton, Joely Richardson) and even Homeland Security are concerned. Too intense for some under 10: adult characters voice 9/11 paranoia; little girl gets hysterical when her mother throws out the magical "toys"; later the girl is nearly sucked into a space/time vortex; kids levitate themselves, things; they say things "suck" and hamburgers are "chopped-up cow"; two-headed snake; roaches; federal agents drag family off for questioning; teacher lives with his girlfriend; talk of reincarnation.)

"Pride" PG (Terrence Howard is charismatic in uplifting, if overly teary-eyed drama about real-life swim coach Jim Ellis and how he began coaching inner-city Philadelphia teens to swim competitively in the early 1970s, helping to turn their lives around despite poverty, racism; Bernie Mac as burned-out rec center maintenance man inspired by Ellis; Tom Arnold as a bigoted rival coach. Realistic theme about evils of racism; occasional racial slurs; high level of profanity for a PG film -- much use of the S-word; crude verbal joke about a broken condom; fistfight; rude hand gesture; local thug makes threats; women who appear to be prostitutes.)

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-- PG-13s:

"Blades of Glory" (NEW) (Riotous, rude farce about figure skating rivals Chazz (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy (Jon Heder), banned forever from competition for public scuffling; three years later, a stalker/fan (Nick Swardson) and a veteran coach (Craig T. Nelson) note a loophole that would allow them to compete as the first male/male duo. Constant R-ish verbal and visual sex jokes go beyond innuendo: crotch gags; references to Chazz's "sex addiction" (he attends a lascivious support group, claims he had an affair with a 35-year-old woman when he was 9); much homophobic humor; a towel worn dangerously low; drinking; talk of drug use; spoof of adoption; subtle incest joke; death threat; video of ice stunt ending in bloody accidental decapitation; profanity; toilet humor. Not for middle-schoolers.)

"Premonition" (Sandra Bullock stranded in a dour, derivative, clumsily directed supernatural thriller about a woman who has a time-bending flash-forward to news of her husband's (Julian McMahon) accidental death, then wakes the next day to find him alive; the cycle repeats -- one day he's dead, the next alive; her sanity questioned, she tries to solve the mystery. Upsetting sense of numbing grief, loss; brief glimpse of a severed head; fiery road crash; a bloodied decomposing crow; wounds on a child's face; someone dragged screaming to a psychiatric ward, injected; child has a bad, but not life-threatening, accident; mild sexual innuendo in marital scenes; rare strongish profanity; subtle allusions to infidelity, suicide; smoking; drinking; tranquilizers.)

"Wild Hogs" (Slow to start, but ultimately amusing comedy about four middle-aged Cincinnati guys (Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, William H. Macy) who trash their cell phones and go on a cross-country motorcycle trip; in New Mexico they face a "real" motorcycle gang (led by Ray Liotta). Too lewd to be a real family comedy; crude language; sexual innuendo -- much of it homophobic; gross toilet humor; considerable midrange profanity; comic fights, mayhem; skinny-dipping scene with a character nude from behind; condom joke; subplot about a gay state trooper (John C. McGinley) who nearly stalks the guys; free-for-all fight; drinking, smoking. OK for high-schoolers.)

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-- R's:

"The Lookout" (NEW) (Young man unhappy with his life turns briefly to crime in an arresting dramatic parable -- often stark, at times sentimental, briefly violent; Chris (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) still has memory and mood problems from head injuries suffered in a car crash (he was the teen driver); he cleans a bank at night, goes to rehab by day, recalls his glory as a teen hockey star; then a thug (Matthew Goode) recruits him to help rob the bank where he works; an epiphany of remembered kindnesses turns Chris back; Jeff Daniels as his blind, hippie roommate. Bloody shootouts; flashback of car crash; sounds of a couple having sex; on-screen kissing; back-view nudity; crude sexual slang, profanity; marijuana; cigarettes; alcohol. 17 and up.)

"Reign Over Me" (NEW) (At last a Hollywood movie dealing with the emotional fallout of 9/11 with a genuine mix of pathos and humor -- writer/director Mike Binder's resonant, painfully funny, imperfect, but moving effort; Alan (Don Cheadle), an upscale dentist, feels a trapped in his perfect life with his perfect wife (Jada Pinkett Smith); he runs into his college roomie, Charlie (Adam Sandler -- adequate, but still doing a variation on his nasal manchild persona), who lost a wife and three children in the 9/11 attacks; Charlie avoids reality, buzzes around on a motorized scooter listening to classic rock on earphones, plays video games, reacts violently when asked about his family; in struggling to help him, Alan finds an outlet, too. Strong profanity; explicit sexual language; strong sexual innuendo; homophobic slur; gun brandished; drinking. 16 and older.)

"Shooter" (Rip-snorter action thriller (based on Washington Post film critic Stephen Hunter's novel, "Point of Impact") moves so supercool fast, audiences won't have time to trip over the logical speed bumps; Mark Wahlberg as an ex-Marine sniper who leaves the military after his superiors betray him on a secret mission; a civilian years later, he's recruited by an ex-colonel (Danny Glover) to stop a presidential assassination; he's betrayed again, framed as an assassin and on the run, aided by Michael Pena as a rookie FBI agent, Kate Mara as widow of his Marine buddy. High-caliber shootings with much blood, occasional gore; gun suicide; fingers, then arm shot off; do-it-yourself bullet removal; villain's implied intention to commit rape; strong profanity; beer. Action fans 16 and up.)

"I Think I Love My Wife" (Chris Rock co-wrote, directed and stars in profane, edgy, moderately sprightly, but superficial comedy, coarsely updating 1972 French film "Chloe in the Afternoon" (R) -- about a family guy considering cheating on his wife (Gina Torres) with a vampy acquaintance (Kerry Washington). F-word oft used in sexual and nonsexual senses; other graphic sexual language; rare sexual situations, steamy, but mostly nonexplicit, except for one sequence about the famous four-hour side effect of Viagra -- no nudity, but graphically implied; racial jokes; rhymes-with-witch word; brief violence; marijuana; drinking; cigarettes; reference to suicide. Film still comes down in favor of family, fidelity, but too raunchy for under-17s.)

"300" (Stunning, digitally enhanced, occasionally giggle-inducing, but mostly epic-feeling (and sounding) adaptation of graphic novel about Sparta's King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C., when he and 300 men faced Persian emperor Xerxes and his mega-army. Stylized visuals, muted colors make violence seem otherworldly, less gory, but still harrowing -- not for all high-school-age stomachs; spears, daggers through guts, eyes; horses cut down from under warriors; strongly implied rape -- camera cuts away before it becomes graphic; more explicit, but stylized, sexual montage between Leonidas and his Queen (Lena Headey); back-view nudity; toplessness; subtle homoerotic verbal references; mild curses. High-schoolers.)