Pastor persuades husband to clean his car
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for six years. He is a Christian, and is active in his church. I am an atheist. While he tries to convert me on occasion, we have no problems with our religious differences. In fact, the conversations we have are some of the highlights of our marriage.
My husband is not a tidy man. He rarely does any cleaning, but will help with the dishes or laundry sometimes, and that's good enough for me. The one area that I have (slightly) nagged him about over the years is his car. I usually end up waiting for his car to get really bad, then go and clean it out myself, or pay to have it detailed while he is at work.
I regularly ask him to clean out his car, but in six long years, he has never done it. Until yesterday. Yesterday, he suddenly spent two hours cleaning out his car. I was thrilled! Then, he told me why he cleaned out his car.
Apparently, his pastor had needed a ride somewhere. After the ride in my husband's car, the pastor gave my husband some great advice: Clean out your car. And he immediately did it.
Amy, I am happy that my husband finally cleaned his own car. But I'm a little upset that after six years of me asking him to perform this small task, he listened to his pastor and not to me.
Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth, or am I right to feel a bit slighted?
-- Bent Out Of Shape
Dear Bent Out of Shape: One reason your husband has never cleaned his car is because every once in a while -- when it gets really bad -- a magical elf appears and does it for him. If he has been an especially good boy, the elf actually pays for the car to be professionally detailed while he's at work! No wonder he has religion: because in his life good things just ... happen!
The way to stop "nagging" is to simply stop. Disengage. Most of us listen to people outside our families a little more closely than we listen to family members. This dynamic is why you can bug your child about something for years, but the minute a peer says the same thing, it becomes true.
Your husband is showing you that he understands that cleanliness is next to godliness. You should roll your eyes at the source of this sudden transformation, and tell him you hope it sticks.
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