Pastor persuades husband to clean his car
Dear Amy: My husband and I are friends with another couple. We usually get along great and have lots of fun ... except when male friend, "Jack," goes into braggart mode.'
Jack will start in on my husband, stating he can beat him at any game, especially racquetball. My husband made the mistake of asking Jack to play racquetball -- more for exercise than competition, but he has stopped asking since the chest-beating started.
Jack's wife excuses his behavior by saying, "This is just Jack being Jack." Jack blames the behavior on his competitive upbringing.
It is obnoxious, annoying and happens too often. Jack went so far -- once -- as to call us both stupid, later apologizing.
Any suggestions on how to get this to stop?
-- Had It
Dear Had It: You can draw "Jack's" attention to his behavior and see if he is willing to change (his apology to you means that he knows he crossed the line). People who brag are overcompensating in the most obvious way.
The next time he flies into full-braggart mode, you can try to slow things down and get his attention by saying, gently, "Jack, you know we would still like you even if you weren't the best at everything? You don't have to prove your greatness to us -- we're your friends." Repeat, if necessary.
Kindness might be the way to kill off this terrible habit.
Dear Amy: I was shocked by your response to "Not your Chum in Chico," who didn't like it when coffee clerks made small talk. Bah humbug! Why be such a grouch when people are just trying to be friendly?
-- Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: I love pleasantries, but don't like specific comments regarding what I am purchasing, or whether I look tired, stressed, happy or sad. I realize that clerks have a very tough and repetitive job to do, and that they are sometimes forced to greet customers in a specific way. I think that for most people, a smile, a simple greeting and then fulfilling the order competently is appreciated.
========
(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
