Family won't forgive abusive boyfriend
Dear Amy: My family refuses to forgive my boyfriend for hitting me seven years ago. After this incident we went our separate ways, but after a lot of work we slowly came back together.
My boyfriend and I have now been together for the last three years. He worked very hard to make changes and prove himself to me, but my family refuses to budge.
We live a very happy life on our own and work very hard on our relationship, but when the holidays and family events occur, I am dragged back to that awful place I was in seven years ago.
My family excludes him from events. They are not willing to take any steps to move forward. They don't understand when I try to explain that by punishing him through exclusion, they are dragging me back and keeping me in the role of victim.
I am 53 years old and the oldest of three sisters. Everyone came together while I was going through open heart surgery, but as soon as I was back on my feet, my family went back to judgment and refusing to forgive.
My boyfriend supports me in whatever I decide to do, but I am getting tired of feeling like I have to leave myself outside the door when I attend family events without him. I miss my nieces and nephews, but my sisters do not want them associating with me.
How can I get this stalemate to end?
-- No Victim
Dear No Victim: You probably can't get this stalemate to end.
Your guy, however, should certainly try. You don't mention that he has made any effort at all to bridge this gap with your family, which, after all, he created.
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