ArcaMax

I suggest you all tell her, politely, that you simply can't do this. If she wants to have her fake dream wedding photos taken at her parents' ranch, then that's her business. Perhaps as a birthday gift, you and your friends could host a party and pitch in and hire a photographer to take some fun candid shots of your group.

Dear Amy: I am a woman in my late 20s, and I have a serious girlfriend.

My partner and I have been together for nearly four years. We've lived in three states together, own a dog, have successful careers and ultimately love each other the best we can.

It has taken a while for my girlfriend to be ready to commit to marriage, but when she was finally ready, she asked my mother for her blessing to propose to me. I told her ahead of time that it would mean something to my mom.

It ended up backfiring and my mom told her that she was "uncomfortable with the idea until she could have a conversation" with me. My mother asked her to wait to propose.

I am very upset. I feel like it was selfish to put this on hold until it works for her. I will be home for the holidays and fully intend to speak with her about this, but isn't she being selfish?

Do parents ever really say no when someone asks for their child's hand in marriage?

-- Not Engaged

Dear Not Engaged: It is possible that you are reading your mother's reaction incorrectly.

When my (now) husband went to my mother to ask for my hand, she replied, "Amy doesn't have to ask my permission for anything." She then asked me (privately) if I wanted to get married (I did), and she told my guy, "Well, there you have your answer."

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