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Q: Twenty-seven years ago my secretary introduced me to a woman at a line dancing bar and I immediately fell in love. I realized immediately that if I wanted to win this woman’s hand, I would have to learn to line dance. I didn’t even know country music.

For weeks I practiced line dancing with this woman in my condo using only one dance and one song. That song, “Neon Moon” by Brooks & Dunn, became our forever song. We were married two years later. Shortly thereafter, my wife was diagnosed with a form of lymphoma which she fought bravely for more than 20 years. Last year the lymphoma turned aggressive and began to consume her. She entered the hospital where she remained for three years, then a skilled nursing facility, back to the hospital and ultimately to hospice.

When she became unresponsive, I played all of our songs on my phone softly in her ear and noticed her lips quivering as she squeezed my hand. She passed away on March 9. I forced myself to process my grief and seek the light. Refusing to allow myself to be dragged down by my grief. Then weeks later I went to a country music venue to listen to the music that had drawn us together and played a major role in our lives.

After the band finished its third set, the audience requested two encores. The second encore was our forever song, “Neon Moon”. In 27 years I had never seen a live band, other than Brooks & Dunn, play that song live. I had no doubt that she was in the room watching over me.

The following week, I went to the country dance hall where we had line danced over the years. The third song played by the band was “Neon Moon”. Once again, I had no doubt she was in the room. The lyrics grabbed my heart and were written for a man sitting alone in a bar, having lost his one and only, and they heal my heart now. – (From B)

A: Thank you, dear B, for your tender-hearted country and western memories. May God comfort you in your loss and may your grief lead you to gratitude and to the hope that someday you will dance again with your chosen one the way souls dance when they are together, and which I do not believe includes cowboy boots.

The interesting theological point of your remembrance is the question of when something is just a coincidence and when it is actually a sign from the other side? There are two issues: the sign and the timing of the sign.

The song is the sign and taken alone it does not seem to be so rare as to suggest that it was a sign from beyond. However, the timing of the sign – the fact that it was played live for you and that it was played at your favorite dance hall – those facts are lovingly suggestive that you have been given a loving message that your dance partner is all right and that she is waiting for you to take her hand and heart again.

Q: Thanks again, Rabbi Gelman, for your interesting column in our paper today. I wouldn’t want to be reincarnated. There are too many loved ones waiting with whom I want to join and love more fully than I could in this life. I especially appreciated your quoting Mary Oliver. I’m delighted to hear of people like me who have discovered her. I wish I had her insights into life and her ability to express them, but we all have our own gifts.

My favorite Oliver poem, which is part of a small handout I plan for people who attend my visitation or funeral, is “In Blackwater Woods,” particularly the final lines:

To live in this world

you must be able

to do three things:

to love what is mortal;

to love it against your bones knowing

your own life depends on it;

and, when the time comes to let it go,

to let it go.

Thank you from a faithful reader in Wisconsin! – (From M, Kenosha, Wisconsin)

A: Thank you, dear M, for your wise and tender note and tribute to Mary Oliver. I love your point that reincarnation would rob you of time spent with those you have loved in this life who have passed away. However, if reincarnation is the destiny of all, then those dear souls would not be there to greet you. They would already be gone and living their new reincarnated lives. Also, being reincarnated would give you a chance to meet new people and love them too. Either way, the journey of our souls after death seems to me to be filled with excitement and new possibilities to bring our divinely bestowed gifts into the world.

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)

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