ArcaMax

For the record, this columnist needs a posting of her own. Needled by some recent reader comments -- not always in the most generous spirit -- she (moi) needs to air some thoughts in response. Bear with me, all ye of good faith, as I take time to vent my spleen.

For openers, this column is not dedicated to partnering every extant/breathing person who qualifies as unmarried, but to strengthening their "single" core, their personhood -- their individuality -- which is surely everyone's most precious possession. That is the aim of the "Exercises in Singleness" sprinkled throughout my advice and indeed forms the basic mindset of every one of my suggestions for all my readers, the married as well the unmarried! But -- one persistently unpleasant and disrespectful reader seems to enjoy taking potshots at this vibrant corner of the Creators website, annoyed by questions dealing with loneliness and relationship issues when other issues are more relevant to his (purported) life. (Hey, if agitas feels better than fulfillment to him, if roiling about unfair treatment to the unmarried is his way to get through the day, he's welcome to it.) But it so happens that I do agree with his comments about skewed rules in the travel industry that force single people to pay more and about tax provisions that hurt the unmarried. But "Single File" pins its message on the software of being unmarried because I believe a strong sense of self is essential to a fulfilled life -- single, partnered or otherwise occupied. Sex, relationships and true love are puzzling challenges for most of us. And if I can help untangle even a small part of them, it is my pleasure -- and yes, my mission.

Additionally, to the woman whose latest message lashed out at me for not being conversant with her favorite thing, polyamory (she needs to learn the art of disagreeing without being disagreeable), it's not so much the principles of her chosen lifestyle that nag at me as much as its health risks. (If that rings a bell, please read that again.) How does one keep track of your partners' sex life, and how does he keep track of his/yours? Yes, I do plead (willfully) ignorant of your way of life -- but must say that polyamory reminds me of polyester fabric, which we all know is a very cheap imitation of the real thing.

Over and out.

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Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks -- in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.