Life Advice
/Health
Should I Tell My Best Friend Her Family's Lifelong Secret?
Dear Annie: I've been best friends for over 50 years now with a girl I was neighbors with growing up. When I was about 12, I remember coming home from her house upset over the way her dad had treated her. He was always very cold and abrupt, and he treated her as less than he did her older sister.
I confided in my parents about this, and they ...Read more
Balancing Family Tension and Personal Peace
Dear Annie: My son is in a relationship with a young woman who had three children prior to meeting. They have had two additional children 11 months apart. "Jordan," his girlfriend, grew up in foster care. She went through some rough stuff. When she became pregnant with my son's first child, I vowed that I would treat her children like they ...Read more
When Love and Marriage Don't Align
Dear Annie: I've been dating a wonderful man for three years. He's everything I could want in a partner, and I'm very happy with him. He came out of a long-term marriage that ended in divorce, while I lost my spouse to cancer shortly before we met. For the first year, we kept things casual, but we've been serious about a long-term relationship...Read more
Navigating Marriage and Mental Health Together
Dear Annie: I live with bipolar disorder, which I was first diagnosed with in the early 1990s. My husband and I got together after my diagnosis, and he has been my biggest support through everything -- navigating different providers, raising my children (not his) who also had their challenges and helping me stay stable.
There have been tough ...Read more
Too Young To Hurt?
Dear Annie: I have struggled with several chronic health issues for over a decade, which often leave me fatigued, in pain or struggling with my memory. Yet because of my age (early 20s), I often get laughed off or dismissed if I bring these up.
It doesn't come from my family, friends or close co-workers, thankfully. They are all compassionate...Read more
When Canvassers Come Knocking
Dear Annie: I've been a big fan of your column for years, but I felt that some useful context was missing from a recent response about how to deal with people knocking on doors.
Having worked extensively in political outreach, I understand how frustrating unsolicited visits can be. However, canvassing for elections or other causes is hard ...Read more
Is Love Enough When Trust Feels Lost?
Dear Annie: I've been with my spouse for nine years. Lately, I feel he's so distant, and I can't help but be bothered by it. About a year ago, everything changed. He started hiding his phone, being secretive with his friends, had multiple social media accounts, etc.
I've had a gut feeling for a while, and when I talked to him about it, he ...Read more
Drawing the Line With an Ex
Dear Annie: My wife of 19 years still to this day keeps in contact with her ex-boyfriend from high school.
They dated all through high school, and after they broke up, he ran her through the mud by spreading rumors about her to all her friends and then wrote a long letter to her stating how she was a slut.
Fast-forward many years, when we ...Read more
Senioritis Struggles: Fed Up and Counting Down
Dear Annie: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I will be turning 18 next month. I'm a senior in high school, and my grades are excellent! I've applied to all of my colleges, and now I'm waiting for the decisions, which I will find out very soon. I live in Arizona, and the schools are in New York, D.C. and North Carolina (with my first choice being in...Read more
Supporting Widows and Building Connections
Dear Readers: So many of you wrote about the widow columns that I printed recently, and made some interesting points, so I wanted to share a few of these letters with everyone.
Dear Annie: Oh, wow! I just saw this in our paper and pointed it out to my wife. She didn't believe it at first, and I was just as surprised. Widows being shunned by ...Read more
Picking Up the Pieces After a Betrayal
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He is 9 years younger than I am, and when we got married, we each brought three children into our blended family. For the past two years, I was the primary caregiver for my mother after she had a stroke. Even before that, I spent a significant amount of my time caring for my elderly ...Read more
Family Boundaries and Paths to Healing
Dear Annie: I have a very toxic and narcissistic sister-in-law. Despite years of unpleasant family problems caused by her, my husband and his brother (her siblings) feel obligated to stay in contact with her. Now that their parents have passed away, I had hoped we could reduce this contact even further.
The issue has become more pressing as ...Read more
Is It Time to Let Go?
Dear Annie: I've been in a 14-year relationship with a man who never proposed. Early on, it didn't bother me much; we were both divorced with kids, and I'd just ended a 13-year marriage. But over time, his vague promises of "someday" have worn thin. He's lived with me for 11 years, helps with some handiwork around the house and contributes to ...Read more
Husband Feels Overlooked and Hurt by Wife's Lack of Support
Dear Annie: I was a high school teacher in an urban area and just retired after a grueling 37-year career under very difficult circumstances. I've been married for 30-plus years and am the father of two daughters who are now in their late 20s.
I've been a good father, husband and provider for my family throughout my life. My relationship with...Read more
When Friendly Favors Go Too Far
Dear Annie: Last week, my good friend "Jess" called me at 6 a.m. to ask if I could drive her to an appointment that same morning, even though I had to be at work by 8. This kind of last-minute favor is becoming a pattern. I've been tempted to say no, but she will always guilt me with something like, "You're the only one I can count on!"
I ...Read more
Giving Thanks
Dear Readers: I want to wish you and your families a wonderful Thanksgiving! This holiday gives me the perfect reason to express how grateful I am for all of you. Your thoughtful questions and comments have taught me so much about life and continue to inspire me every day. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.
Practicing ...Read more
Disciplinary Divide
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a 6-year-old daughter, "Eliza," and we recently have not been seeing eye to eye in terms of how to handle discipline. For example, last week, when she refused to put her toys away after playing with them, I told her she couldn't watch TV until it was done. She threw a fit, and instead of backing me up, my ...Read more
Am I the Problem?
Dear Annie: I work at a school as a teacher and have struggled over the years with how cliquey the other teachers have been. Shortly after I started there, the pandemic happened, and many people friended each other on Facebook. Because that was the only source for a sense of community as we went through those first few dark months, I accepted ...Read more
Family Won't Support Plan to Move Closer to Grandkids
Dear Annie: We have a home that's over 120 years old, and we've spent a lot of time and money maintaining it because we love it. We finally have it just the way we want, but it's becoming too much for us. After a lot of discussion, I finally convinced my husband to consider selling and moving, and he's on board. The problem, though, is with ...Read more
A Sister's Betrayal and a Brother's Blame
Dear Annie: My brother regularly calls to blame me for my strained relationship with our sister, without knowing my side of the story. For my own peace of mind, I keep my distance from her, though I still send her Christmas gifts, birthday cards and other greetings -- which she ignores and never reciprocates.
My sister is a school counselor, ...Read more