It’s 11 p.m. on Tuesday, and you’re wrapping up a first date. And it was a pretty good one! It ends with a hug goodbye and tentative plans to get together again for dinner early next week (you know, if you ever hear from him again). As you climb into your Lyft and give a final wave to your date, you’re excited that after a string of "mid" first dates, this one actually seems to have some potential. So what’s your immediate next move? Of course, it’s to take out your phone to text your best friend: “I just had the best first date!”

It’s a natural reaction: You want to share your joy with those who love you the most — and it’s no fun to have to contain that initial excitement.

You get a quick reply for said bestie: “Amazing! Send me his profile!” You copy and paste some screenshots of his Hinge profile, only for your pal to come back with, “That’s funny. I wouldn’t think he’s your type. Glad you had fun, though.” Clearly your friend has figured out something you haven’t — maybe he’s not as attractive as you thought, or maybe he looks weird. Or boring. Or mean. That excitement has vanished, you’re not even close to home yet (holiday traffic and all), and now you’re rethinking that second date.

Sometimes it’s hard to know where to draw the line when it comes to how involved in your love life your friends should be. Ultimately, your relationship includes two people: you and your (potential) partner. A friend being unimpressed by your date’s profile shouldn’t stop you from seeing that person again. After all, you’re the one who had a great time face-to-face ... and the one who goes on date No. 2. And even if he’s “not your type,” one of the best things you can do for your dating life is to expand your horizons to people who don’t necessarily fit your usual mold. Perhaps it's physically or perhaps by some other part of who they are (level of education, job type, location, etc).

There are plenty of healthy ways to include your friends in your dating adventures: chatting about dates — the good, the bad, and the ugly — over brunch or discussing first date outfit choices via FaceTime.

Friends are there to look out for you, but who you’re dating is your decision and only your decision. While, of course, I always want to assume your friends have the best intentions, sometimes we just don’t know if a little something (jealousy?) is intermingled with those good intentions.

I once overheard a woman advise her friend that a guy wasn’t “on your level” when it came to his job and looks. However, that’s not for a friend to decide. Unless they raise legitimate concerns — for example, they knew the date and that he was actually married with children, despite his profile saying he is single, or he mistreated someone you both know — you have to rely on your head and heart.

If a friend is meddling too deep into your love life, it’s time for a conversation. Simply saying, “I like him, and I’m going to see where it goes,” should make it clear that you’re interested — and a friend should respect that. Should the doubts continue, perhaps you should keep your conversations to topics other than your dating interests.

Ultimately, dating is a deeply personal journey, and while it’s natural to seek advice and share your experiences, it’s equally important to trust yourself. Your friends can offer guidance and a listening ear, but they’re not living your experiences or building the connection. So, enjoy your dates, make your own choices, and keep your inner circle updated only as much as feels right for you. After all, the best stories — and the best relationships — are the ones you write for yourself.

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