Richie, who has grown more than any other character in the show, finally comes to terms with his ex-wife's upcoming marriage and realizes that he is a good father. Sugar, facing motherhood herself, is forced to finally tell Donna how scared she has been for most of her life. Though still unable to name the problem, Sugar at least recognizes that the trauma of her childhood continues to affect her.

Even Donna has a moment of grace and possible growth.

But Carmy? Carmy remains emotionally stuck in the freezer, cataloging his failings, making lists and listening to the most savage voice in his head, which belongs to the worst boss he ever had. Does Carmy wonder why he would give this toxic guy ascendancy over the other, gentler but still rigorous chefs he has worked under? Of course not.

Because he was taught that love and joy are not to be depended upon. Instead, you have to prepare for the worst, the sudden inevitable explosion of whirling brick and rebar.

Until you can see clearly enough to identify a tornado as a tornado and not Christmas dinner, until you are healthy enough to admit how your parent's alcoholism infected your life, all you can do is hang onto your anxiety, make a bunch of lists and pretend that constant pain is part of greatness and that everyone wakes up screaming from a dream.

Here's hoping that Carmy spends a bit more time in Al-Anon in Season 4 and that he finally says a few words about Mom.

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(Mary McNamara is a culture columnist and critic for the Los Angeles Times.)

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