As in obsessing over every detail and then forgetting to do one really important thing. As in swinging wildly between confidence and self-loathing, between ebullient belief and bitter recrimination. As in refusing to delegate, resenting the subsequent work burden and believing that perpetual anxiety is the only thing that stands between you and utter failure.

I feel anxious just writing about it.

You can view "The Bear" as a paean to the pressures of genius or the restorative properties of service, but it is also a vivid portrait of the ever-widening radius of damage that alcoholism and addiction can inflict.

As Season 3 opens, Carmy could have come out of that freezer filled with chagrin but also pride and gratitude that he had built a team that could carry on without him. He could have immediately apologized, profusely and in person, to Richie and Claire, gotten a debrief from Sydney and then maybe taken a nap.

He could have chosen to view the incident with a certain amount of insight or even humor and moved the hell on.

Does he? No. Having experienced a dark night of the soul, Carmy chooses to stay put, dim the lights a little lower, add a few throw pillows and settle in for the long haul.

The brilliant first episode of Season 3 is the portrait of a man living in his own head, perpetually reviewing all the high and low points of his life. In an opening scene, he literally traces a prominent scar, wondering what exactly is wrong with him, and then trying to solve it by making One of Those Lists.

Nothing about the opening is funny, but I laughed out loud when Carmy started that list. I know that list. I have made that list. It's not a normal memo to help you set goals or keep a busy life on track. It's the list people make when they feel totally out of control, when they believe the only way they can survive their anxiety is to harness it, to give it an increasingly difficult gantlet to run that, if successful, will prove they are just fine.

Better than fine. Doing great, actually. Carmy's doing so great that the Bear is not just going to be a success but it's also going to get a Michelin star. Year 1. Oh, and he's going to quit smoking, not because smoking is unhealthful but because it's a distraction. Also, studies have proved that when you're under the most stress you've ever experienced in your life, that's the best time to quit smoking.

Having "failed" his first test, Carmy is determined to quadruple the difficulty level of the next.

...continued

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