Family Film Reviews

"Firehouse Dog" (PG, 1 hr., 51 min.)

No one is a bigger sucker for movies about cute doggies than The Family Filmgoer, but this story of a lonely 12-year-old boy and the dog who becomes his dad's firehouse mascot just sits up and begs too much. "Firehouse Dog" yowls for laughs, every gag bludgeoned home. And the filmmakers rely way too much on doggie digestive jokes. (The canine hero suffers from loud flatulence and poops into a pot of stew.) The dog's heroic stunt behaviors are digitally enhanced and look so fake as to kill any wonderment for special effects-savvy kids. Yet the movie's premise has comic merit and the human performances are good (against all odds). So, lots of kids 8 and older may find enough charm, thrills and laughter in "Firehouse Dog" to sit and stay for its nearly two-hour running time. The last half-hour is mighty slow for those less enamored of the movie's hard sell.) Aside from toilet humor, there are several intense fire-fighting scenes, with explosive smoke and flames and falling beams. The boy, the dog, and a firefighter are trapped by fire at different times. There are subplots exploring grief, loss and bitterness over the boy's mother having left long ago and about his firefighter uncle, who perished in a blaze.

Canine movie star Rex, an elegant Irish terrier, falls out of a plane during a film stunt, lands in a truckload of tomatoes and starts exploring the town -- scruffy, smelly and without his extra-wavy hairpiece. He encounters Shane (Josh Hutcherson, of "Bridge to Terabithia," PG), a sullen kid playing hooky. Rex causes Shane to get caught by his stern dad, Connor (Bruce Greenwood), a firehouse captain, so Shane hates the pooch. In a series of improbable events, Rex displays agility and courage that inspire Connor and his dispirited crew. The dog becomes their mascot and the boy soon grows to love him. But wait: there's an arsonist on the loose and Rex's trainer (Dash Mihok) misses him.

P.S. FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER: If you see "Firehouse Dog" and find it really fake -- even the emotions in it -- but you like movies about dogs, you can try a couple of older movies. If you don't mind films with some sadness in them, check out a wonderful boy-and-dog tale, "Sounder" (G, 1972), about a poor family in the South before the Civil Rights era, or "My Dog Skip" (PG, 2000), about a shy boy and his dog in 1940s Mississippi. Both stories have sadness, but they feel a lot more real than "Firehouse Dog."

"Are We Done Yet?" (PG, 1 hr., 32 min.)

Ice Cube still can't seem to temper his tough-guy persona with much warmth on-screen. His acting range barely arcs from anger to annoyance and back -- a short trip. Still, this sequel to his 2005 family comedy, "Are We There Yet?," (also a PG, though it deserved a PG-13), is a real improvement over the crass original. Though also loaded with slapstick, "Are We Done Yet?" has better character development, fewer gratuitous crotch-kicks and a sunnier world view. And thank goodness the child actors (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden) have outgrown the irritating archness they displayed in the first film. More of a genuine PG, "Are We Done Yet?" is fine for kids 8 and older. It contains mild sexual innuendo and a chaste romance between a 13-year-old girl and a slightly older boy. Also in the mix are scenes showing woodsy animals such as deer and raccoons acting crazy, bats swarming, an owl swooping down to grab a chipmunk, a pigeon falling dead after being shot (off-camera) with a nail gun, and a huge fish pulling a child under water with a fishing line (there is a quick rescue). Don't forget the requisite dose of toilet humor and one shot of a "plumber's butt." This is a comedy about home renovation, after all.

Based on the 1948 Cary Grant-Myrna Loy comedy "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House," "Are We Done Yet?" has sports writer and entrepreneur Nick Persons (Cube), now married to Suzanne (Nia Long), the divorcee he tried so hard to impress in the first film. He moves with his new wife and stepkids (Allen and Bolden into a gorgeous old home that turns out to be crumbling from within. The renovation tests the new family, and John C. McGinley milks every drop of comedy out of cheerful Chuck, the real estate guy/contractor/electrician who practically moves in with them. He also knows midwifery (the better for Suzanne when the twins she's carrying are born) and martial arts. Nick gets really jealous of him.

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Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages

-- 6 AND OLDER:

"Meet the Robinsons" G (Gorgeous computer-animated feature (shown in crisp, colorful, non-scary 3-D at some theaters) celebrates imagination, individuality, creating a family when you don't have one, in tale of bespectacled, spikey-haired 12-year-old inventor, Lewis; an orphan eager to find his real mom, Lewis invents a "memory scanner"; Wilbur Robinson, a boy from the future, takes Lewis there -- a cheery art deco-style future, which at darker moments looks more like the dehumanized world of Fritz Lang's 1927 silent classic, "Metropolis." Lewis meets the riotously eccentric Robinson clan and feels loved. Baby abandoned on orphanage step; serious theme handled humorously shows how childhood loneliness, sadness, failure can stalk us through life; "Bowler Hat Guy" villain wears a hat that sprouts metal legs, chases folks; Lewis and Wilbur crash a time machine; rude taunts "puke-face" and "booger-breath"; dinosaur topiary comes to life, chases folks.)

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-- 8 AND OLDER:

"Firehouse Dog" PG (NEW) (Heavy-handed comedy nearly defeats a strong cast with its corny script, over-sold jokes and obvious special effects that spoil the wonderment; a movie star Irish terrier, Rex, falls from a plane during a film stunt, lands safely in a tomato truck (minus his wavy hairpiece) and endears himself to a firehouse crew in the nearby city with his agility and courage, becoming their mascot and winning over the fire captain's (Bruce Greenwood) sullen 12-year-old son (Josh Hutcherson); but -- an arsonist is on the loose and Rex's trainer (Dash Mihok) misses him. Too many doggie digestive jokes: Rex has noisy flatulence, poops into a pot of stew; intense firefighting scenes with explosive smoke, flames, falling beams; boy, dog, and a firefighter are trapped at various times, all rescued; subplots about grief, loss, anger over mother's abandonment of them, a firefighter uncle who died in a blaze.)

"Are We Done Yet?" PG (NEW) (Less crass, more amusing sequel to Ice Cube's 2005 comedy "Are We There Yet?" (PG, but deserved a PG-13); still acting within a narrow range (from annoyance to anger and back), Cube plays sports writer/entrepreneur Nick, now married to Suzanne (Nia Long), the divorcee he pursued in the first film; with her and his new stepkids (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden, both less arch and annoying than in the first film) he moves into a house that needs major repairs; John C. McGinley is Nick's amusing, over-the-top foil as the ever-present real estate guy/contractor. Mild sexual innuendo; chaste romance between 13-year-old girl and a slightly older boy; comic scenes with deer and raccoons acting crazy; bats swarm; owl swoops to grab a chipmunk; pigeon falls dead after being shot (off-camera) with a nail gun; huge fish pulls a child under water (a quick rescue); toilet humor; "plumber's butt.")

"TMNT" PG (First "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" feature since 1993 (also PGs in 1990, '91, '93), this time a fully computer-animated 'toon -- hard-edged and homely, dimly lit, narratively murky, too violent for some under 10; the Ninja Turtles (mutated long ago by a pollutant "ooze" and named for Italian Renaissance artists Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello) have become estranged; their sensei, Master Splinter, says they must reconcile before facing a new threat -- reanimated stone warriors from ancient Central America; their archeologist pal April (voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her boyfriend Casey Jones (Chris Evans) help. Semi-harsh language ("snot kicked out of him"); tired ethnic stereotypes; off-color joke kids won't get refers subtly to phone-sex industry; huge, looming red-eyed monsters, ancient warriors; battles not bloody, but big and loud.)

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-- 10 AND OLDER:

"The Last Mimzy" PG (Kids into science, idea of time travel will like film's neat premise, despite its messy, disjointed execution: a 10-year-old (Chris O'Neil) and his little sister (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) find a box on the beach, full of spinning, humming rocks, holographic crystals, and a stuffed bunny that "talks" to the little girl about saving the world; their folks (Timothy Hutton, Joely Richardson) and even Homeland Security are concerned. Too intense for some under 10: adult characters voice 9/11 paranoia; little girl gets hysterical when her mother throws out the magical "toys"; later the girl is nearly sucked into a space/time vortex; kids levitate themselves, objects; they say things "suck" and hamburgers are "chopped-up cow"; two-headed snake; roaches; federal agents drag family off for questioning; teacher lives with his girlfriend; talk of reincarnation.)

"Pride" PG (Terrence Howard is charismatic in uplifting, if overly teary-eyed drama about real-life swim coach Jim Ellis and how he began coaching inner-city Philadelphia teens to swim competitively in the 1970s, helping to turn their lives around despite poverty, racism; Bernie Mac as burned-out rec center maintenance man inspired by Ellis; Tom Arnold as a bigoted rival coach. Realistic theme about evils of racism; occasional racial slurs; high level of profanity for a PG film -- much use of the S-word; crude verbal joke about a broken condom; fistfight; rude hand gesture; a thug makes threats; women who appear to be prostitutes.)

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-- PG-13s:

"Blades of Glory" (Riotous, rude farce about figure skating rivals Chazz (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy (Jon Heder), banned forever from competition for public scuffling; three years later, a stalker/fan (Nick Swardson) and a veteran coach (Craig T. Nelson) note a loophole that would allow the two compete as the first male/male duo. Constant R-ish verbal, visual sex jokes go beyond innuendo: crotch gags; references to Chazz's "sex addiction" (he attends a lascivious support group, claims he had an affair with a 35-year-old woman when he was 9); much gay (at times homophobic) humor; a towel worn dangerously low; drinking; talk of drug use; adoption spoof; incest joke; death threat; ice stunt video ending in bloody accidental decapitation; profanity; toilet humor. Not for middle-schoolers.)

"Premonition" (Sandra Bullock stranded in a dour, derivative, clumsily directed supernatural thriller about a woman who has a time-bending flash-forward to news of her husband's (Julian McMahon) accidental death, then wakes the next day to find him alive; the cycle repeats -- one day he's dead, the next alive; her sanity questioned, she tries to solve the mystery. Upsetting sense of numbing grief, loss; brief glimpse of a severed head; fiery road crash; a bloodied decomposing crow; wounds on a child's face; someone dragged screaming to a psychiatric ward, injected; child has a bad, but not life-threatening, accident; mild sexual innuendo in marital scenes; rare strongish profanity; subtle allusions to infidelity, suicide; smoking; drinking; tranquilizers.)

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-- R's:

"The Reaping" (NEW) (Silly film borrows much from occult/religious thrillers such as "The Exorcist" (R, 1973), "Rosemary's Baby" (R, 1968), and "The Omen" (R, 1976); despite nice atmospherics, it never conjures any chills of its own; Hilary Swank as an ex-minister who lost her faith after a tragedy; now a professor who debunks "miracles"; she and her assistant (Idris Elba) go to a remote Louisiana town, asked by a local teacher (David Morrissey) to find scientific reasons their river has turned blood-red, cattle are dying, frogs are falling from the sky (i.e. the plagues of the Old Testament) so townsfolk won't kill a 12-year-old girl (AnnaSophia Robb) they suspect of Satanism. Gun suicide; dreamlike, semiexplicit sexual situation; subtext about menstruation, puberty; piles of dead cattle; swarming locusts, maggots; children endangered; fire and brimstone; profanity; drinking. 6 and older.)

"The Hoax" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Richard Gere does his best work yet in high-strung, elegant, pithy little film -- a fictionalized portrait of real-life literary scammer Clifford Irving; film chronicles how, in the early 1970s, Irving wrote a bogus autobiography of Howard Hughes and fooled (at first) his agent (Hope Davis) and top editors and publishers; (based on Irving's own novel about the affair); Alfred Molina as his sweaty, guilt-wracked collaborator; Marcia Gay Harden as his much-lied-to wife. Strong profanity; drinking, smoking; marijuana; nonexplicit bedroom scene with seminudity; brief violence. More for college kids.)

"Reign Over Me" (At last a movie dealing with the emotional fallout of 9/11 with a resonant mix of pathos and humor -- writer/director Mike Binder's painfully funny, imperfect effort; Alan (Don Cheadle), an upscale dentist, feels trapped in his perfect life (Jada Pinkett Smith as his perfect wife); he runs into his old college roomie, Charlie (Adam Sandler -- adequate, but still doing his nasal man-child shtick), who lost a wife and three children in the 9/11 attacks; Charlie buzzes around on a motorized scooter, blocks out reality with rock music on earphones, plays video games, reacts violently when asked about his family; trying to help him, Alan finds an outlet, too. Strong profanity; explicit sexual language; strong sexual innuendo; homophobic slur; gun brandished; drinking. 16 and older.)

"Shooter" (Rip-snorter action thriller (based on Washington Post film critic Stephen Hunter's novel, "Point of Impact") moves so supercool-fast, audiences won't have time to trip over logical speed bumps; Mark Wahlberg as an ex-Marine sniper who leaves the military after his superiors betray him on a secret mission; a civilian years later, he's recruited by an ex-colonel (Danny Glover) to pre-empt a presidential assassination; betrayed again, he's framed as an assassin and on the run; a rookie FBI agent (Michael Pena) and the widow of his Marine buddy (Kate Mara) help him. High-caliber shootings with much blood, occasional gore; gun suicide; fingers, then arm shot off; do-it-yourself bullet removal; villain's implied intention to commit rape; strong profanity; beer. Action fans 16 and up.)

"300" (Stunning, digitally enhanced, at times giggle-inducing, but mostly epic-feeling (and sounding) adaptation of graphic novel about Sparta's King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C., when he and 300 men faced Persian emperor Xerxes' army. Stylized visuals make violence seem otherworldly, less gory, yet harrowing -- not for all high-school-age stomachs; spears, daggers through guts, eyes; horses cut down; strongly implied rape -- camera cuts away before it becomes graphic; more explicit, but stylized, sexual montage between Leonidas and his Queen (Lena Headey); back-view nudity; toplessness; subtle homoerotic verbal references; mild curses. High-schoolers.)