Life Advice
/Health
Pta President Pushes Back On Principal's Suggestion
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the president of the parent-teacher association at my daughter's school, and at a recent meeting, the principal suggested that it is mandatory for us to buy food from the school canteen so that all the kids will have the same food and not feel jealous or envious of others who have more expensive options. What do you think I ...Read more
Woman Wants To Rekindle Friendship After Years Apart
DEAR HARRIETTE: Three years ago, I had a falling-out with a woman who, at the time, had been my best friend for eight years. Our friendship was one of those rare, deep connections that felt more like family than just friends. We went to the same college, were in each other's weddings and spent so much time together that we'd see each other at ...Read more
Friends Don't Address Teen Damaging Dock
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I live in Wisconsin and are fortunate to own a second lakeside property. Over the years, we've extended invitations to various loved ones, offering them the chance to stay and enjoy the lake. Recently, my husband's close friends asked if they could spend a weekend at the cabin with their family, and we said yes. ...Read more
Harriette Celebrates Mother's 95Th Birthday -- And Legacy
DEAR READERS: I am claiming this space to celebrate my mother -- and, in turn, all mothers in our lives.
Today, my mother turns 95 years old. When I spoke to her a few days before her birthday, she said, "Well, this is not as far as my mother." Her mother, Carrie Elizabeth Alsup Freeland, a woman who stood a strong 4'9" tall, lived powerfully ...Read more
Boyfriend's Stinginess Raises Concerns About Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is incredibly stingy. We get along well in many ways, but when it comes to money, he's not what I expected. He never offers to pay for our dates. It's not that I mind splitting the bill sometimes, but I've noticed that he never makes any effort to treat me, even on special occasions. He's also extremely reluctant to ...Read more
Secret Egg Freezing Causes Marital Guilt And Anxiety
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm in my early 30s, and for as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of having kids. My husband, however, is not on the same page -- he's made it clear that he's not ready for children and may never be.
I tried to respect my husband's feelings, but as time passed, my anxiety about waiting grew stronger. Eventually, I decided to ...Read more
Husband's Weight Gain Affecting Family
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. When we first got together, he was active and in great shape. Over the years, he has gained a significant amount of weight, and his chronic obesity has now become a huge wedge in our relationship. I still love him deeply, but this drastic change in his health has impacted many ...Read more
Parent Worries About Daughter's iPad Dependency
DEAR HARRIETTE: I fear that I may have raised an "iPad child." My daughter is 4 years old, and for over a year now, she's been glued to her iPad. It started out as a way to keep her entertained while I handled other tasks around the house. As a parent, sometimes I just need a moment of quiet, and the iPad seemed like an easy, harmless way to get...Read more
New Mom Struggles With Isolation And Loneliness
DEAR HARRIETTE: As a new mom to my precious 3-month-old, I'm experiencing a whirlwind of emotions, from joy to an overwhelming sense of isolation and loneliness. While I adore my baby and cherish these early moments, I can't help but miss my old social life and the freedom I used to enjoy. It feels like my friends have drifted away, caught up in...Read more
Couple Debates Staying Together Amid Marital Strife
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been arguing a lot all year long, if I am honest. We have had a few screaming matches recently that ended up with me saying it was over unless we could get along better. Miraculously, my husband has been acting nicer -- nothing earth-shattering, but there have been fewer arguments and more pleasantness. ...Read more
Daughter Desperate To Donate Kidney To Mom
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm in a really tough situation with my mom, who has been going through so much lately. She's on dialysis for six hours four times a week, and she has been waiting for a kidney donor for almost a year now. I just returned from Brazil and found out that I'm a match, and I'm willing to donate my kidney to her. My mom is refusing to...Read more
Readers Offer Advice On New Mom's Weight Struggle
DEAR HARRIETTE: I wanted to offer another option to "Overweight," the woman hurt by her brother's comments about her post-pregnancy weight. Could she not go a step further and ask him to babysit for an hour or two a few times a week, so she can have time to herself, to sleep or cook or exercise? Or could he contribute to a healthy meal delivery ...Read more
Couple Struggles With Political Differences
DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have different political views, and with the election coming up, we've been clashing more often. I'm a strong supporter of Kamala Harris and her policies, while my partner has a different perspective. We've always respected each other's opinions, but lately, our discussions have turned into heated arguments. I ...Read more
Mom Considers Suggesting Part-Time Work For Teen
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm the mother of a 16-year-old daughter who loves shopping and frequently goes out with her friends to the mall, the movies and various other places. Up until now, I've always paid for her extra experiences -- whether that's her shopping sprees, lunches or outings with her friends. Financially, I can afford all of these things ...Read more
Sibling Wants To Support Gay Brother Amid Family Tensions
DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger brother, who is only 12, recently came out as gay, and while I fully support him, my parents are struggling to accept it. They keep insisting it's just a phase, and it's heartbreaking to watch. I've tried having conversations with them about being more open-minded, but they seem resistant to the idea. I feel caught ...Read more
Sibling's Comment Causes Marital Tension Over Pregnancy
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling uneasy after a recent family dinner celebrating my brother-in-law's birthday. During the gathering, I mentioned that my older sister, his wife, told me she was purposely avoiding losing weight because she doesn't want to get pregnant. I didn't mean to bring it up, but it's clear my brother-in-law really wants to have ...Read more
Employee Struggling With Open Office Distractions
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently transitioned into a new role that has me working in an open office layout. While I appreciate the collaborative environment and the opportunity to interact with my colleagues, I have been struggling with distractions and noise that make it difficult for me to focus on my tasks effectively. I have tried using noise...Read more
Boyfriend Demands Conversion For Marriage Commitment
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm at a crossroads in my relationship with my boyfriend. We've been together for several years, and for the most part, our relationship has been strong and loving. We've talked about our future together many times, and I've always pictured us getting married, building a life and starting a family. However, a recent conversation ...Read more
Reader Wants To Support Grieving Mother-In-Law
DEAR HARRIETTE: My in-laws' 55th wedding anniversary is coming up soon, but unfortunately, my father-in-law passed away last year, so this will be my mother-in-law's first anniversary without him. It's been a tough year for her. She misses her husband, and their relationship was the foundation of her life. I know this day is going to be ...Read more
Best Friend Worries That Woman Wants To Quit Ballet
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I are professional ballerinas, and we've been dancing together since high school. We've been through so much together -- the long rehearsals, the endless auditions, the excitement of landing roles and the disappointments. Ballet has been a huge part of our lives, and we've always shared that passion.
Recently,...Read more