ArcaMax

Dear Eric: I frequently have gatherings at my house, most recently debate-watch parties. Close friends gather, have cocktails and eat snacks. This time, I decided to go for the cozy vibe and have a debate-watch pajama party. I just invited ladies.

Then a guy I dearly love asked if he could come. All the girls said they would be fine with this ...Read more

Dear Eric: Two years ago, a group of 11 women on my husband’s side, including his mother, sisters and aunts, went on a beach house girls’ trip. The group also included the daughters-in-law of his aunts. I was left out and wasn't even told about this trip until after they came back.

My husband was angrier about it than I was, but I asked him...Read more

Dear Eric: I am newly in love and engaged. My fiancé and I are both in our early 70s. Quite a few of my friends (not my close friends but others) have responded to the news with: how cute! Somehow the fact that we have fallen in love and plan to marry is "cute."

I find this infantilizing, as if we were small children playing dress-up. I ...Read more

Dear Readers: On Sept. 23, I published two letters from older adults struggling to find a connection (“Still Grieving” and “Wants a Connection”). I asked those of you who have successfully found friendship and romantic partnership at a later stage in life to write in.

I shared some of those great responses last Thursday and, as promised...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a friend I haven’t spoken to since her small wedding two years ago. I thought we were pretty close friends for 25 years. We shared our ups and downs.

Before her wedding, she told me that it was going to be a small ceremony with only about 30 friends and family. It would be at a restaurant. They planned on paying for ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’m 51 years old. I’ve been dating “John” for two and a half years now. After a year, he moved in to help with the mortgage. Most of the time he pays but if he misses a month and I ask about it, he gets angry which I find to be a very strange reaction.

If I ever get mad about something he turns around and gets mad at me and ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband doesn't live in the country in which he was born. Because of that, I've tried to connect with his family. We visited his family over the years and vice versa. He has a cousin who asked if we could stay in touch through the messaging app WhatsApp and her husband also requested to be included. Great!

Unfortunately, his wife ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’ve struggled with a mild autoimmune condition for the last three decades that would flare from time to time. Normal life is difficult during the flares, especially while raising a family and running a business with my husband. I did the best I could.

About five years ago, I got extremely sick, and it just got worse and worse. ...Read more

Dear Eric: A few years ago, I noticed a change in a close friend of more than four decades. She is beloved, kind, supportive and generous and has been a great friend over the decades. Yet, she has become more strident in her opinions, almost to the point of bullying.

She wasn’t always like this. Her husband and I are the main recipients of ...Read more

Dear Eric: I sing as a volunteer in a church choir. Because I can sight-sing, was trained as a musician, and can sing alto, the music director likes it when I come.

For me, singing is "work", not "fun" but the music director is very nice, and the choir members are very warm and kind people.

What I don't enjoy is that one of the newer members ...Read more

Dear Eric: My partner and I just bought a house together and are settling in nicely. He and his ex were married for 10 years, and she was mentally and emotionally abusive toward him. It took a lot of strength for him to leave.

They do not have children, pets or any property together. It should have been a clean break; however, she still ...Read more

Dear Eric: During the process of our moving from a large house to an apartment in a retirement community, my daughter-in-law asked my son to leave their house. I had already arranged to give them many things, including my late daughter’s artwork, two antique Chinese wedding chests and a Turkish rug. I paid to have these things, as well as a ...Read more

Dear Readers: On Sept. 23, I published two letters from older adults experiencing loneliness (“Still Grieving” and “Wants a Connection”). I asked those of you who have successfully found connection at a later stage in life to write in.

And write in you did! I received so many wonderful letters, full of anecdotes and suggestions, that I�...Read more

Dear Eric: I am one of four siblings. I live close to but not with my 102-year-old mother while my siblings live far away. Over the past 12 years, I have gradually taken over a lot of her care, although she generally makes her own decisions and is financially secure. She is dependent on me for cooking, shopping, appointments and company.

After ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I are hurt and disappointed in our two children, both adults in their 40s. We were predicted to be in the direct path of hurricane Helene in Georgia. She changed her path slightly to the east, and we didn't get the worst of the hurricane. However, we were hit with massive rain and extremely high winds. Also, we live in ...Read more

Dear Eric: This letter is probably best read after that first cup of morning coffee. My husband of 50-plus years has a habit of peeing outside, even though his office is equipped with its own bathroom.

His dad and uncle did the same thing, but they chose an old patch of ivy for their “offerings.”

My husband stands over beautiful ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have been in a wonderful relationship for a year now with a man who treats me like a queen, and we have plans to eventually get married. We happen to have a mutual friend, whom I have actually known for many more years than he has. The mutual friend is known by many as a toxic person who is also an egotistical bully, and I believe ...Read more

Dear Eric: My parents divorced when I was 5 and my brother was 3. He went with our father and I with our mother. We saw each other on holidays and summers. Both parents remarried and had two more children. There is a seven- to nine-year gap or more in our ages.

My brother and I were treated less like family and more like a resentment. ...Read more

Dear Eric: I divorced my wife after 25 years of marriage. After she went on some medication for depression, her personality changed, and she became unfaithful with a series of men.

I never told my three children (now adults, early 30s) about the affairs to protect their relationships with their mother.

Over the last five years, she has ...Read more