Life Advice
/Health
Asking Eric: Husband won’t let kids have friends over inside the house
Dear Eric: My husband has told our kids they cannot have any friends inside of our home. They can play in the front yard and that is it. I don't know how to tackle this, or what to say when it's our “turn” to host our kids’ friends. I've been hosting the friends to movies, arcades, etc., but never in our home.
My husband is retired and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sisters use pets as excuse for never visiting
Dear Eric: For about 20 years, my husband and I and our two boys, when they were younger, plus a dog, traveled usually by car to visit my sisters. They never visited us. The drive to their state was 14 hours long and was not fun or cheap, but we did it mostly because of my elderly mother who couldn't travel (lived with one sister). I have a fear...Read more
Asking Eric: Estranged sibling debates attending brother’s funeral after rejection
Dear Eric: My brother and I have been estranged for decades, due to consecutive "family incidents" that accumulated, unresolved, over years.
A little over a year ago, I learned through a mutual friend that my brother has an incurable cancer – the kind that is hereditary and would place me at a significantly elevated risk. I immediately booked...Read more
Asking Eric: Seniors struggle to make close friendships in new community
Dear Eric: My husband and I are in our 70s and retired to a new community. We are engaged in church ministries and social groups that meet for dinner periodically. I volunteer and he is an avid golfer. My problem is not being able to turn new relationships into meaningful friendships. I have met many wonderful people but have a problem getting ...Read more
Asking Eric: After seven years, partner still unsure about kids and marriage
Dear Eric, I have been in a seven-year relationship with my partner. We do not have any children together and we are not legally married. I am 36 and he is 39 and I am at the point where I would like to get married and have my own child.
When we first got together, he was very much open to marriage and kids, but it seems that this has changed, ...Read more
Asking Eric: House guest insists on doing wasteful chore as a ‘thank you’
Dear Eric: We have a dilemma that may seem trivial but it's driving us crazy. We're fortunate enough to have a vacation house on a small island. Water is kind of expensive, relatively. While we love to host extended family, one older relative horns in to do the dishes by hand although we have an excellent dishwasher.
The hot water waste is ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend avoiding long-time friend after weight gain
Dear Eric: I've been friends with "Steven" for 40 years. We've dabbled in romance a few times when we were both single, but we always return to the platonic comfort zone. We live in separate states and haven't seen each other for 15 years. We talk on the phone about once a month, and I'm satisfied with that.
Steven, however, continues to press ...Read more
Asking Eric: Grandmother shut out of Christmas celebrations
Dear Eric: When my only son and his wife got married and had kids, I was informed that Christmas Day would just be for them to celebrate. I said OK.
For decades, I have given my son and his family (wife and two kids) really nice gifts for Christmas. We are talking about hundreds of dollars. For a while, I would receive a small gift, such as a ...Read more
Asking Eric: After family deaths, mother gets meaner and spreads lies
Dear Eric: My father passed from cancer in 2020. He and my mother were married for 53 years. One year later, my only sibling died suddenly from a massive heart attack. So, it's just my mother and I left. We have never had a good relationship. Very tense, lots of jealousy (her, not me).
Both my parents were very close to my children growing up. ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister’s relationship is consuming her life
Dear Eric: My younger sister is in her sophomore year at university (her school is far from home). I’m a couple of years older than her, but we are best friends. She just celebrated her one-year anniversary with her boyfriend (same age as her), who she met in her first week in school.
I love her boyfriend and support their relationship – he...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband’s mean comments about house clutter cause arguments
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years and enjoy each other's company. As many couples, after many years there are certain things that we do that get on each other's nerves. He has always been a neat and organized person, and I have always been a bit messy. My closet is usually messy, and I forget to put things in ...Read more
Asking Eric: Woman fears being left alone after father and partner die
Dear Eric: I am a woman in my late 50s. I have never been married or had any children. It was always my father who raised both myself and my sibling (who passed away at the age of 40). I am in a long-term relationship and we both respect and love one another.
My father is in his late 80s and not in great health. I cannot stop worrying that when...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband’s grocery splurges create strife
Dear Eric: My husband and I, both happily retired with good pensions and Social Security, make our weekly grocery trips together. We take turns paying with our flight-points credit cards. Once the bill arrives, we split the cost of our groceries down the middle, sharing the expenses equally for everything we purchase at our preferred grocery ...Read more
Asking Eric: Regular manicurist came close to drawing blood. Time to fire?
Dear Eric: I’ve been going to the same neighborhood nail salon for nearly 10 years. They are usually great, but about two years ago, I continuously began to be relegated to a nail technician, “Sue,” who is very inconsistent, doing just OK sometimes and then on occasion was truly awful.
Sue has come close to drawing blood while cutting my ...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband’s connection with ‘professional tease’ tests marriage
Dear Eric: I have been married to my husband almost 10 years; we have two children. I will not lie and say these past years haven't been without challenge. Separation and divorce have been tossed around.
Lately, my husband goes out quite frequently at all hours of the night. My gut has been telling me something is not right, so I went through ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend takes too many leftovers after holiday meals
Dear Eric: I have been sharing Thanksgiving with dear friends for decades. About three years ago, they learned a friend of mine, with whom they are acquainted, had no plans for the day. So, she has been invited and now attends annually.
These are kind and generous friends, so they offer their guests the opportunity to take home doggie bags. My ...Read more
Asking Eric: Widowed songwriter sings about new girlfriend, but his sons aren’t all ears
Dear Eric: I’m a 75-year-old amateur songwriter who enjoys recording what I write. I’m also a widower going on three years. When my wife of 42 years was alive, I wrote songs for and about her and us. I’d record them at home and send the recordings to our boys and in-laws who always responded positively.
I received great joy in sharing my ...Read more
Asking Eric: Retired parents always get stuck footing the bill for blended family
Dear Eric: My husband and I are senior citizens in a large, blended family. Back when we were younger, and both gainfully employed, we paid for everything any time our blended family got together. Over the years, the family grew larger numerically.
The fact that we’re retired seems to make no difference in the expectation. Any time the group ...Read more
Asking Eric: New boyfriend is overly friendly to younger women
Dear Eric: I'm a woman in a new relationship with a fabulous man who doesn't seem to understand an issue I've brought to his attention. I noted recently that when he checks out other women in front of me, I feel disrespected. He listened and said he understood completely.
I didn't have the courage to take it a step further, which is ridiculous...Read more
Asking Eric: Caregiver son struggles with guilt over not doing enough
Dear Eric: The last four years of my father's life, I was a near constant caregiver. I visited him daily, did his lawn work, took him to doctor's appointments, to the barber, occasionally to dinner or a movie. I always took care of his finances and medications.
He would call me as many as 10 or 15 times a day about various things or just to ...Read more