ArcaMax

Dear Worried: You seem to want your brother and his wife to stay with you in your home, but his complaints during their last visit seemed fairly global and quite personal.

You ask for suggestions on how things could go better this time, and the answer would be for your brother to behave differently.

Is this likely? You shouldn’t count on it.

In some cases, it can be easier on relationships all the way around if longer-term guests stay elsewhere (at a hotel or short-term rental house) during a visit.

You could address this with your brother by responding: “If you would feel more comfortable at a hotel, there are several nearby; I’m happy to send links for you to make a choice. Whatever works best for you is fine with us. We’ve always had a good time staying with you and want to reciprocate, but I don’t think you were comfortable in our home the last time you visited.”

I think you should approach this visit with a hopeful attitude, but you should also consider and strategize about how you will respond if your brother insults you personally when he is with you.

Dear Amy: I care for my 15-month-old granddaughter on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 8 a.m. until noon. I am not compensated and am very happy to do this. Both parents work – mainly from home.

What's become an issue is my son and daughter-in-law's insistence that I not allow my granddaughter to nap during my morning shifts. Instead, they prefer that nap time be reserved for the afternoons so they can focus on their jobs.

The little girl has a tendency to fall asleep for a brief 20 to 30 minutes mid-morning. This takes the edge off her afternoon nap which can be as long as two to three hours if she doesn't nap in the morning.

I see sleep deprivation as a form of child abuse and my son and daughter-in-law's demands to be somewhat selfish. If I call them out on this, I fear there will be retribution in the form of reduced contact with my granddaughter over something that is a minor inconvenience for the young parents.

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