Ask Amy: Maid of honor rethinks the 'honor'
“Chloe” might justify her rudeness by thinking that her attendants will be very busy on her wedding day, and because you won’t be able to spend much time with “William” during the ceremony and reception, she might as well exclude him.
My instinct is that this is yet one more sacrifice you are expected to make as her maid of honor. Some honor, right?
In terms of responding, I think you should be calm and very clear. Speak to her: “Chloe, I’m asking you to invite William to your wedding. I’m sorry that you feel pressured, but it’s the right thing to do. I have stepped up in many ways to make this day great for you, and I’d appreciate you finding the space for him.”
If she freaks out, don’t respond right away. Just wait quietly.
After a week or two, you should have an answer from her.
In my opinion, either way you do have an obligation to carry on with your role in the wedding, but the longer-term friendship might take a real hit.
Dear Amy: I have a friend whose husband died suddenly more than eight years ago.
She speaks very often about how difficult her life is without “Bart,” and how perfect their marriage was; she is financially secure and has many friends.
She is in therapy.
I, and all of her friends, listen to her talk about this man and we sympathize with her. I know there is no right timetable for grief.
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