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Former actress recreates soap opera at wedding

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Let her know that you actually do expect her to behave differently than usual while at your wedding. Don't hand her a microphone during the speech-making. Ask a family member or caregiver to take her home if she becomes disruptive.

Dear Amy: I think I might be dating a liar. We've been together for three months. I am 28 and he is 34. I don't have any evidence to suggest that he has lied specifically to me, but I have seen him lie to other people.

He lies to his ex (with whom he has two children) in front of me. She will call and he will deliberately lie about something in order to get her off the phone. These are little lies, like he has something he needs to take care of. He will also call in to work with lies and excuses to get out of shifts.

I am conflicted about this because the lies seem small. However, I don't understand why he feels the need to lie at all when the truth would suffice.

It is at the point where if he is late to dinner because work went late, I wonder if he is lying to me the same way I have seen him lie to others. Additionally, because he has lied to his ex about me, I wonder if he is seeing other women and is also lying about that.

I don't really know if I am making something out of nothing. I am worried that if I bring it up to him he will just deny it and then try to be sneakier about it in the future.

-- Worried

Dear Worried: Your boyfriend reflexively lies when telling the truth is awkward or inconvenient. You can assume that his behavior extends to you, as well.

 

I can almost understand inventing an excuse to get off the phone with an ex-spouse (he needs to take these calls because they have children, but he doesn't need to stay on the call if it isn't important). Lying to get out of a work shift, however, is another story. At 34 years old, he should be able to commit to working when he is supposed to.

If you are determined to take your relationship to another level, you should be able to discuss almost anything with him, including this, without fear that the discussion would make his behavior worse.

Dear Amy: Your response to "Outmuscled" was so sexist. His girlfriend was stronger than he and regularly challenged and beat him in arm wrestling. Why didn't you tell him to leave this abusive relationship?

-- Dismayed

Dear Dismayed: I pointed out that if "Outmuscled" was a woman, I would definitely tell him to leave. I agree with your implication that this behavior is abusive. If she won't stop outmuscling him, he should definitely leave.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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