Work friends clash over pregnancy news
You apologized and she accepted your apology. Her baby is now born and she has invited you to her home. Yes, this invitation is her way of trying to normalize what has been a challenge to your friendship. You say that if you could wave a magic wand, you would resume your friendship. Well, she is handing you the wand.
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been together for 21 years and have successfully blended our four children into a family. Recently we were sent a "Save the Date" for my husband's niece's wedding. His children were invited, but mine were not.
While we understand the issues of numbers and expenses connected to a wedding, it is still hurtful.
We will attend the wedding regardless, but should we say something to my husband's brother about this? We don't want to cause problems, but we would like to convey our feelings.
-- Blended Family in Central NY
Dear Blended Family: You don't say the ages of these children, or how close "your" children are to the niece who is getting married. If your children don't really know this niece, that would be a factor.
Depending on these variables, you and/or your husband could tell his brother, "We understand that weddings are expensive, but we have four children. We consider all of our children to be all of our children. We think it would probably be best not to invite any of them, rather than to leave two behind. We completely understand if you can't stretch the budget to include all of our children. If that is the case, we're going to come to the wedding on our own."
Assume that your brother-in-law simply doesn't understand the awkwardness and hurtfulness of this sort of exclusion for your family.
Dear Amy: Responding to the letter from "Angry in Sausalito," whose 92-year-old father insisted on using a ladder, my dad did the same thing -- until we took the stepladder away. We simply put it in our car and told him to call us when he needed a light bulb changed or lights put up on the roof. Worked beautifully. Yes, he did pass away, but it was from all his years of smoking, not a head wound.
-- Liane
Dear Liane: Great solution. Thank you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
