Mother worries about daughter's taste in men
For now, assume that if they both attend, they will make an effort to avoid one another. If there is a problem at your home, don't mediate. Simply ask them to leave.
Dear Amy: For the umpteenth time, I've read one of your columns about how best to deal with issues arising from Facebook postings and the like, and yet not once have I seen a response suggesting that perhaps people should try weaning themselves from social media rather than attaching so much importance to it.
You tend to address the symptoms of the problem without ever going to the core issue: people are engaging in addictive behavior by basing their entire worth on something as silly as Facebook. I would have expected more from you.
-- Ralph Blessing, Washington, D.C.
Dear Ralph: I agree with you that engagement through social media can mimic (or actually be) addictive. I also agree with you that weaning oneself from this engagement has very positive effects. On three occasions, I have deleted social media apps from my phone, extremely and deliberately curtailing my own use. Going through the day without receiving these ongoing triggers is extremely liberating (although I have had to find another way to entertain myself while commuting on the bus). After several weeks, I have re-engaged, but if my social media use becomes too frequent, or creates relationship problems (or free-floating rage), I unplug again.
However, I also acknowledge that social media serves as an important connector between human beings, and this connection has more positive than negative aspects -- as long as people manage their own use. I value the relationships I've made on social media. Some of these relationships are reconnections with faraway family members, friends from childhood or colleagues from previous careers, but many are with people who I will never meet personally. Two or three times, I have met people through social media and have gone on to have "real world" friendships. Social media can connect people whose lives are limited and who need -- and receive -- support from people they will never meet personally, but become friends with, nonetheless. It is important to be as intentional about virtual relationships as any other relationship.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
