ArcaMax

Dear Amy: My husband of more than 30 years has erectile dysfunction. When I was overweight I was happy enough not to have relations with him. Now I've got control of my health and would like to step it up in the bedroom.

He suggests, regularly, that I seek another partner. Besides being hurt by these requests, I'm fine waiting for him. Now he says that if he knew I was seeing someone else, he would not have to take pills because he'd be aroused at the thought.

I'm stunned and confused. He's never been into porn. I don't know where this is coming from. What should I do?

-- It Got Complicated

Dear Complicated: If your husband is aroused at the thought of you being with another man, maybe he can use that fantasy to become sexual with you again. You (and he) imply through his suggestion that his ED isn't wholly physical.

A counselor could help both of you to talk honestly about your sexual relationship. The way you're currently communicating about it is not working, and is hurting your emotional connection. More honesty could lead to more intimacy.

Dear Amy: As a mother of a teenager, I feel the need to respond to "Puzzled in Hartford," who wondered why kids don't help their parents around the house.

My son occasionally helps around the house by cleaning his room, taking out the garbage and vacuuming when I ask him. However, he does not have time for much else because he spends around 80 percent of his time doing homework.

The complexity and amount of homework assigned is substantially greater than what was expected of me when I was his age. As a parent I try to support my son's education and find ways to help him enjoy his journey. So if he can't always shovel the snow (which he loves to do by the way), I cut him some slack. He is doing a lot more than I did at his age.

-- Supportive Mom in Chicago

Dear Supportive Mom: I agree that the amount and complexity of homework for college-bound students is extreme. Some parents and educators are starting to push back on homework, and I agree that rebalancing is a good idea.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)