Live-in relationship is great, except for the lies
Dear Amy: I'm an average guy, fitness-wise. My girlfriend, always naturally sporty, has been at the gym for a year. Our fitness paths collided when I was enjoying a coffee with her and her training partner at home.
On prompting by her trainer, my girlfriend flexed and her bicep popped up so high my eyes bulged. Her partner then prodded me to flex. I didn't want to, as I knew my muscle wasn't as developed. The partner felt both our flexed arms and declared mine softer. She then pushed us to arm wrestle.
I am 3 inches taller than she and I am a man, so I thought I should win. Anyway, after two times on the right and once on the left, I ended up with the back of my hand securely pinned down to the table -- to their extreme delight. I feel extremely embarrassed.
This has changed the dynamics in our relationship. She will now teasingly flex when she wants something. And she enjoys challenging me in public. I have now been defeated in arm wrestling in front of her parents and a group of her girlfriends. It's hard to adjust.
-- Outmuscled
Dear Outmuscled: If the tables were truly turned and you (the male) challenged, beat and then repeatedly taunted your female partner through implied threats, I would advise her to leave the relationship.
In addition to being taunted by someone who is physically stronger than you are, your girlfriend is demanding that you submit to public challenges. I assume that if you refuse her public challenges, you will be almost as humiliated as if you lose to her.
You should ask her what she is getting from flexing, taunting, challenging and beating you. If she says she thinks this is funny, tell her honestly that it is embarrassing and humiliating. Tell her that you would never do this to her, and then ask her to stop.
Dear Amy: I was disturbed by your response to "Not Your Chum in Chico," who was irritated by service workers making small talk. I would hate to see you promoting a class system, where servants keep their mouths shut.
-- Appalled
Dear Appalled: I love exchanging pleasantries. I don't see people as "servants," but as individuals who are doing their jobs and just trying to get through their days, much as I am. But, like "Not Your Chum," I don't like questions or observations that seem intrusive or personal.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
