ArcaMax

What you don't realize is this: Caretaking, nurturing and actual hands-on active parenting -- that middle-of-the-night stuff you refer to -- forms the foundation of connection between parents and children. It is very hard work, but many parents (myself included) wouldn't trade in many moments of tough, hands-on parenting. There is a glory and grace in taking care of another human being, and that is what your husband would be missing.

Dear Amy: A few years ago I met a very intelligent, engaging woman at a social event. We soon struck up a friendship. One of many things that we had in common was that she had faced discrimination because she is African American, and I had faced my own challenges.

Over the last year she was very upset about the presidential election. We were on opposite sides. I let it go. She has pressured me to buy products from her home-based business. I don't use her products, so I never participated. She has vented about problems in her life, and when I have offered advice, she has been very condescending.

She tends to drink and I think sometimes the liquor is talking. Lately she's insisted that, if I really like her, I need to do things such as read certain books on black history, etc.

I really like this person, but I feel that I now have to "buy into" our friendship.

All I ask of people I care for is mutual respect and open dialogue.

Have I lost a friend?

-- Wondering

Dear Wondering: True friends don't "make" each other do things. They don't force their friends to buy certain products or read specific books.

However, the flip side of this is also true. Sometimes friends purchase things they might not want or need in order to be supportive and participatory. And a friend seeking to gain insight about what her pal is thinking and feeling might voluntarily pick up a book reflecting the friend's point of view or struggle.

It is obvious that you see this friendship as one-sided. This person seems to be demanding that you prove your friendship bona-fides. Maybe the open dialogue can start with you.

Dear Amy: Responding to "M," the thin woman who was "skinny shamed" by strangers, I correct people by referring to myself as "fit."

-- Fit and Healthy

Dear Fit: People of all sizes can accurately describe themselves as "fit." Thank you for the suggestion.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)