Job seeker is rebuffed for negotiating
Professor Wells and I agree that you are not out of step with the current job market, and perhaps you should feel you dodged a bullet with this particular employer.
Dear Amy: I have three brothers. I have been estranged from the oldest, "Lars" (in his 70s), for more than 10 years.
My two other brothers are close to both Lars and me. During a recent colonoscopy, Lars was diagnosed with colon cancer. He had surgery and now his prognosis is excellent.
When Lars was diagnosed, he admonished our two brothers than I was not to be told of his status. One brother later told me they were made to swear on a stack of books. Lars is married, childless and very wealthy.
Both brothers kept the news from me and promptly scheduled colonoscopies for themselves.
Secrets have a way of being found out and needless to say I am very upset; not so much at Lars, but at my "loving" brothers for keeping the cancer news from me. As siblings we all share the same genetics and have the right to make informed decisions and protect ourselves and our children.
I feel my two brothers had a moral and ethical duty to alert me. They don't understand why I'm so upset. Am I wrong to feel betrayed?
-- Distressed Sister
Dear Distressed: I agree with you that "Lars" has the right to choose whom to tell about his medical status (including the right not to tell anyone). I further agree that your brothers had an ethical duty to share this important information with you, once they learned of it.
They should not have agreed to keep this secret, even when faced with a "stack of books." However, you did find out, and perhaps this is because one or both brothers spilled the beans. So, either Lars chose the wrong stack of books, or your brothers might have accidently-on-purpose found a way to alert you. Is this a possibility?
Dear Amy: "Worried" described a senior citizen family member who lived in her house and who used marijuana every day.
It doesn't seem to have occurred to you that this marijuana might be medicinal. Your judgmental attitude toward pot use is disturbing.
-- Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: As "Worried" described it, this person was spending her days extremely impaired through daily marijuana use. If this is medicinal, then she should adjust her dose.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
