Adult daughter of alcoholic continues to struggle
Please don't let your childhood define you for the rest of your life. Being a good parent and a good person should define you now.
After acceptance, you work on detachment. You can't fix your mother, and you can't change her. You cannot rewrite the past, you can't rewire your mother's brain, and you can't cure her disease.
You should attempt to have the relationship YOU want to have -- and that includes no relationship.
Your desire to fix things, while wrestling with conflicted feelings, is common for adult children of alcoholics. In addition to your therapy, you should research and seek support from others who understand your challenges, through Al-anon or another support group.
Read "After the Tears: Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood Trauma," by Jane Middleton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell. (HCI, 2010).
Dear Amy: I am currently living with my daughter, her hubby and their children. I came here because when my husband passed away, I was unable to get an apartment.
My daughter and her husband graciously offered a room to me; it was a good feeling to know I wasn't alone at this time.
I feel that the time has come for me to move on. Unfortunately, this brings up the problem of finances.
I have been living on Social Security, and now with the upcoming presidential election, there is a lot of talk about this program and others being cut back, or worse, cut completely.
I'm so confused. I don't want to make a bigger mistake by moving out. This is not a decision that I can just jump into. What do you think I should do?
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