ArcaMax

-- Left Out

Dear Left Out: I have had a huge response to the letter from "Keeping My Name." This shows how very important names are, and how sensitive people are if they are addressed by a name that isn't theirs.

In the case of Keeping My Name, I pointed out that even though she never took her husband's surname, she is, formally speaking, "Mrs. Husband's Name," i.e. "the wife of" her husband.

Yes, this is old-fashioned. And since there isn't an equivalent term for "the husband of," it does seem sexist.

According to a recent story in The New York Times, roughly 20 percent of women married in recent years have kept their names. (I am one of them.)

But if relatively few women are keeping their surnames post-marriage (let's stop calling them "maiden" names), why do some of these same women not want to be addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name"?

I assume in your case it is because if you've already surrendered your last name, you would like to hold onto your own first name. You should mention this to your sister-in-law.

Dear Amy: "Upset" was mad at her mother-in-law for refusing to provide a recipe for an often-made dessert that was her husband's favorite.

The solution is easy. Almost every recipe in the world is available on the internet; Upset could have bypassed her MIL's rudeness completely by simply looking it up.

-- Fellow Cook

Dear Cook: I assume this is what "Upset" probably did in the end. She was miffed that her mother-in-law was refusing to honor a fairly simple request.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)