ArcaMax

Our entire visit consists of her reminiscing about her past, and she will even cry over certain events, which results in me consoling her.

When it is time for me to leave after staying for a couple days, I feel as if I didn't get to actually talk to her. I feel like we are missing out on these years we have together.

I hope this doesn't make me seem selfish. I love my grandmother dearly; we used to talk till the cows came home, and it's not the same anymore.

I want to talk to her about it, but I am afraid I will hurt her feelings. What should I do?

-- Worried

Dear Worried: You should be honest with your grandmother about your concerns: "Grammy, I'm worried about you. You seem so sad..."

It sounds as if she might be depressed. Older people are just as likely as anyone else to become depressed, but they aren't routinely screened for depression. Diagnosis and treatment could be a game changer for her. Speak to your parents (and/or her) about this.

Also, if you correspond with her by email or snail mail in between your visits, you will basically have the opportunity to tell her whatever news you have regarding your own life. Then when you are with her, you can say, "Remember how I wrote to you that I'm engaged? I have some pictures of my fiance -- do you want to see them?"

Dear Amy: The question from "Sad" broke my heart. Sad's younger sister was abusing the party drug Molly, and Sad was upset because her sister was mad at her when she intervened.

I wish more people cared enough to intervene and let a family member be mad at them. Anger fades.

-- Also Sad

Dear Sad: Exactly.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)