Dating relationship put to test by contact with ex
Dear Amy: I am gay and have been dating a great guy for a year and a half.
We have a hefty age difference -- he is 45; I am 33.
It is an amazing relationship, except for one thing. He was in a 24-year relationship that was ending when we met. His ex is 60 years old.
They stay in touch and reside in the same city.
My boyfriend has bought a new condo, and we have been committed fully for about nine months.
The problem is that he consistently tells me of events he wants to attend out of state, which this ex will also be attending. Recently, he mentioned he would be traveling to attend a gay pride event, and would be staying with a mutual friend. His ex would also be there.
I am always uncomfortable with this, and instantly go on the defensive. It ends up pushing me far away because I speculate about them. It affects our trust.
We never fight, except when this recurring theme emerges every few months.
I can't control how I feel, and he seems reluctant to stay away from these events, even though he knows how much it bothers me.
Is it wrong for me to ask him to not do these things, or to at least include me in the events, rather than feel as if I have been shoved into the back closet, while his ex still lingers around in his life? -- Wondering
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