High school student worries about friend's cutting
People who cut often describe it as bringing relief after a buildup of stress and anxiety. Talking can help to decrease the stress.
Don't judge Morgan, but DO understand that this is a potentially serious issue, and she will likely need patient and supportive professional help. You really cannot promise to keep this a secret; it's simply too important.
Take this brick off your shoulder and bring Morgan to see your school counselor. If she won't go with you, tell her that you need to go on your own. You should also talk to your parents (they may decide to reach out to hers). Here are some very helpful resources for both of you: www.selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu; the crisis text helpline: text 741-741 (U.S. only); self-injury.net (U.S. and Canada).
Dear Amy: I have grandchildren in their 20s.
When they are invited for dinner at our home, they often sit down with cellphone in hand, attempting to hold a conversation or text while eating.
When I remind them that we do not permit cellphone use at the dinner table, they do cease, but I wonder whether there is a better way to handle this situation.
Any suggestions? -- Frustrated Grandpa
Dear Grandpa: Cellphone etiquette is a big deal, not only for flummoxed elders (who reached adulthood without this constant distraction), but also for young cellphone users who have had to develop their own techniques for trying to regulate this behavior. And, by the way, sometimes elders are the worst offenders.
Several millennial readers have made the following suggestion, as being something that works for them: When out at a restaurant, everyone places their cellphone in the middle of the table. The first person to reach for it picks up the check.
You can modify this at home by asking for the group to agree that the first person to reach for their phone does the dishes.
Dear Amy: I couldn't believe your so-called "advice" to "Overwhelmed," the young mother whose husband didn't lift a finger to help with the baby.
Get with the Century, Amy. Men are supposed to take on half of the housework and child care. -- Disgusted
Dear Disgusted: "Overwhelmed" was a stay-at-home parent. Her husband traveled for work and was often away for weeks at a time. My advice contained practical suggestions for ways she could promote bonding during the times when he was home. I think it is unrealistic for this family to split household duties evenly, given their situation.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
