Awkward descriptions
DEAR AMY: I feel terrible.
At a 4-year-old's birthday party, I stood talking to three other moms from my son's preschool class.
One of the moms was wearing a blouse that looked to me like maternity clothes.
You guessed it. I asked, "Are you expecting?"
I could tell instantly that I'd made a mistake.
She said, "No," and we sort of laughed at the awkward moment.
I later apologized to her in the parking lot, explaining about her blouse, but it sounded lame.
I know that what I said was potentially very hurtful -- maybe she was sensitive about her weight (as most of us are), or trying to conceive another child.
I don't know how to make it right. I feel horribly guilty about my inconsiderate question.
Do you have any suggestions about anything I can do to make her feel better? -- Dope-slapping Myself
DEAR DOPE: Stop. Stop before you kill again. You committed a faux pas. You apologized. Don't make things worse by continuing to bring it up, which would remind you both of this embarrassing episode.
The blouse, by now, has hit the dustbin, and you've learned a lesson in mommy diplomacy. It is never a good idea to ask about a pregnancy, unless a woman invites you to. (May 2006)
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
