Young love
For preparation for your girls' adolescence, read "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls," by Mary Pipher (1995, Ballantine Books) (January 2006)
DEAR AMY: I am a 10-year-old in fifth grade, and I read a letter in your column from a mom who had two daughters in elementary school who were sad they didn't have boyfriends.
Three out of five of my fifth-grade friends have boyfriends.
Boyfriends and girlfriends my age don't really do anything. All we do is to tell everybody we are boyfriend/girlfriend and then maybe hang out at recess with that person.
It's really no big deal -- nobody does anything. I thought that this mom should know. -- Fifth-Grade Girl
DEAR FIFTH-GRADE GIRL: First of all, thank you for reading the newspaper. You're off to a great start in terms of your knowledge of and interaction with your world.
And thank you for giving some insight into the romantic world of fifth-graders. As I told this concerned mom, the boyfriend/girlfriend thing in elementary school is just practice for the real dating scene, which doesn't happen until much later for most kids. We parents don't want our kids to grow up too fast, so sometimes we freak out when we shouldn't. But then, you probably knew that already. (February 2006)
DEAR AMY: I just got my license and a car, and I am very happy that I can visit my boyfriend, who lives 25 miles away, whenever I please.
The problem is that I have to pay for all my own gas (even for school), while he gets unlimited gas money from his parents.
He has offered to pay for part of my gas when I make these trips.
I hate borrowing money, so my first reaction was to refuse, but because my job doesn't start until summer and my lunch money will barely get me to school and back, I can't afford to drive there.
Is it right to accept his offer? -- Torn
DEAR TORN: Take your guy up on his offer to share the gas burden. But this money shouldn't be considered a "loan." If he is offering to pitch in, then the two of you should figure out an equitable way for him to do so, just as you would if you were going out to eat or to a movie.
Of course, if he drives to see you, then that takes care of the problem, right? (May 2006)
========
(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
