Life Advice

/

Health

Discovering your son is a homosexual

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

DEAR READERS: I have stepped away from my daily column for two weeks to finish writing my next book, which is due to be published next fall. I hope you'll enjoy these topical "best of" questions and answers while I'm away. Today's questions both come from people who are struggling to tolerate others' sexuality.

DEAR AMY: I recently discovered that my son, who is 17, is a homosexual.

We are part of a church group, and I fear that if people in that group find out they will make fun of me for having a gay child.

He won't listen to reason, and he will not stop being gay. I feel as if he is doing this just to get back at me for forgetting his birthday for the past three years -- I have a busy work schedule.

Please help him make the right choice in life by not being gay. He won't listen to me, so maybe he will listen to you. -- Feeling Betrayed

DEAR BETRAYED: You could teach your son an important lesson by changing your own sexuality to show him how easy it is. Try it for the next year or so: Stop being a heterosexual to demonstrate to your son that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice -- to be dictated by one's parents, the parents' church and social pressure.

 

I assume that my suggestion will evoke a reaction that your sexuality is at the core of who you are. The same is true for your son. He has a right to be accepted by his parents for being exactly who he is.

When you "forget" a child's birthday, you are basically negating him as a person. It is as if you are saying that you have forgotten his presence in the world. How very sad for him.

Pressuring your son to change his sexuality is wrong. If you cannot learn to accept him as he is, it might be safest for him to live elsewhere.

A group that could help you and your family figure out how to navigate this is Pflag.org. This organization was founded for parents, families, friends and allies of LGBT people, and has helped countless families through this challenge. Please research and connect with a local chapter. (February 2013)

...continued

swipe to next page

 

 

Comics

Shoe Doonesbury Darrin Bell For Heaven's Sake Herb and Jamaal Bob Englehart