ArcaMax

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 1997 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over ...Read more

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

Also: Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the ...Read more

Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.

Tombstones are not generally thought of as fonts of light entertainment. But as The New York Times showed, some epitaphs are funnier than others.

-- He was a simple man who died of complications

-- He came into the world without my consent and left in the same manner

-- Stranger, tread this ground with gravity Dentist Brown is filling his ...Read more

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry as they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

I have a talking dog.

We didn't know it when we got him, of course. He didn't reveal this talent to us right away. He would vocalize occasionally in dog-speak, but no one really had any idea what he was saying because he spoke in his language, and we spoke in ours, and there was no Rosetta Stone program for either of us. But then one morning ...Read more

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, a good cook, and great in bed... But the law allows only one wife...

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness ...Read more

Did you hear about the corduroy pillows?

They're making head lines across the nation!

Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year...Read more