Humor
/Entertainment
/ArcaMax
Football Wedding
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?"
The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."
"What do you call it?"
"We call it a football wedding."
The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"
The ...Read more
More Bumper Stickers
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
He Who Hesitates ...Read more
Google Translate Sings: "Mother Knows Best" from Tangled
Google Translate Sings: "Mother Knows Best" from Tangled
MSNBC Special Coverage Cold Open - SNL
Rachel Maddow (Sarah Sherman), Joy Reid (Ego Nwodim), Chris Hayes (Andrew Dismukes), Stephanie Ruhle (Chloe Fineman) and Ari Melber (Marcello Hernández) discuss Donald Trump's second term.
500-POUND Bear REPEATEDLY Steals Candy from Gas Station | Customer Wars | A&E
A convenience store clerk in California must deal with an aggressive, hairy, 500 pound intruder seeking candy bars
The new old people are going to suck | Lachlan Patterson
Nobody wants to hear stories about your food blog, grandma.
A Frog goes into a Bank to get a Loan (Norm Macdonald Joke)
A Frog goes into a Bank to get a Loan (Norm Macdonald Joke)
Tim Conway Stops People As ‘Fashion Police’…Then REAL Police Show Up
With hidden cameras, Tim plays up the roll as a Fashion Policeman. Even after the real police show up, he stays in character as long as he can.
Jerry Zezima: Something to sneeze at
As the very model of the modern medical marvel, I have survived an aortic aneurysm, a terrible bout of COVID-19 and, worst of all, a nasty paper cut.
Not to be outdone, my wife, Sue, lived through a heart attack, came down with COVID, too, and underwent painful hand surgery.
But we recently had to deal with the most daunting of medical ...Read more
Sartre's Coffee
The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"
Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".
Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.
A few minutes later, ...Read more
Managing the Farm
The manager of a large corporation had a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go to a farm for several weeks to relax. After a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him something to do.
The farmer told him to clean the manure from the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working his ...Read more
Political Corruption
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" ...Read more
A/C Trouble
A salesman for a mobile home dealership had a customer call him about this problem:
The customer called and said she was having problems with her air conditioner.
She said, "Mr. X, we are about to freeze to death! I keep turning it down but it won't go off!"
For The Kids...
Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!
What did Noah do for a job?
He was an ark-itecht!
What's that fly doing in my gravy?
Looks like the breast stroke!
Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!
Father: You were absent on the ...Read more
Patio Problem
My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.
He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio...Read more
Dog at the Movies
Following a woman with a dog out of the movie theater, a man stopped her and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I was amazed that your dog seemed to get into the movie so much. He cried at the right spots, moved nervously at the boring spots, and laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find that unusual?"
"Yes," she replied. "I find ...Read more
For The Kids...
Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!
Doctor, Doctor I've broken my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal ...Read more
Life's Plan
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to live a well planned life?"
"Yes," said her friend, "My first marriage was to a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a preacher;
and now I'm ...Read more
Headlines From The Year 2050
Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobil of Monopoly Charges
50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss
Baby Conceived Naturally
It Wasn't the Cigarettes -- It Was the Ashtrays
Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With US President
Florida to Be Readmitted to Union
Plague of...Read more
Ladies, It's Time To Hand the Country Back to Men
You may have heard that a new president will be inaugurated on Monday.
By Donald Trump's side, reportedly, will be the billionaire Founding Fathers of our exciting oligarchy. This includes Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg, who has rebranded by cutting baby bangs and wearing chains last seen on a Zales truck. As part of this macho ...Read more
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