I have a problem about being nearly sixty: I keep waking up in the morning and thinking I'm thirty-one.

To love what you do and feel that it matters -- how could anything be more fun?

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

All of us want to do well. But if we do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough.

Books...are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves with 'em, then we grow out of 'em and leave 'em behind, as evidence of our earlier stages of development.

It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.

While gossip among women is universally ridiculed as low and trivial, gossip among men, especially if it is about women, is called theory, or idea, or fact.

While gossip among women is universally ridiculed as low and trivial, gossip among men, especially if it is about women, is called theory, or idea, or fact.

Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want.

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."

I was born because my mother needed a fourth for meals.

My father was often angry when I was most like him.

You're dealing with the demon of external validation. You can't beat external validation. You want to know why? Because it feels sooo good.

When you were quite a little boy, somebody ought to have said "hush" just once.

In university, they don't tell you that the greater part of the law is learning to tolerate fools.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their pedestals.

To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun?

To say something nice about yourself, this is the hardest thing in the world for people to do. They'd rather take their clothes off.

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.