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I hope this year’s rare confluence of Christmas and Hanukah brought you a spirit of joy and at least one present you will remember long past New Year’s Day.

Both Father Tom and I are/were big supporters of gift giving. I understand the common gripe of many that the holiday season is over commercialized and there is good evidence of that. However, anti-gift givers can be motivated not just by anti-materialism but also by simple selfishness. At its root, gift giving is a fundamental and wonderful spiritual act of love and sacrifice and sharing. The truth is that we show love not just by words but by actions and gift giving is an act of love. It is not a coincidence that the Christmas story includes the gift giving of the wise men as a central part of the story.

In general, the God Squad gift-giving guide includes the following guidelines:

— Homemade is better than store bought.

— Gifts that require engagement like games and art supplies and writing tools are better than gifts that don’t require any effort to use.

— Jewelry is OK but religious jewelry is better.

— All books are good.

— Socks and underwear that you need anyway are bad gifts.

— Food gifts are good if they are foods that you would never make for yourself because they are too hard or costly.

— Memberships in museums and concert series are great because they support the arts and enter the recipient into the arts.

— Every gift should have a card with some personal words of love.

— Kids who have no money (which is most kids) can still give gifts. I had kids make up spiritual coupon books where each coupon was a promise to do something helpful right away (cleaning the room, babysitting, giving a hug and a kiss).

Father Tom had many strong ideas about great giving. One of his best was giving the gift of time. He gave me a Hanukah gift one year of a day at the zoo. Tommy knew that my grandfather, Leo Gellman, was a zookeeper in Milwaukee and so as my Hanukah present, he took me to the Bronx Zoo. I told him stories about monkey island in the Milwaukee Zoo, where my grandfather would stuff my pockets full of my grandma Sara’s mandelbread cookies and then send me onto monkey island where the monkeys would swarm me and pick the cookies out of my pockets. I loved telling him the story and loved giving me a chance to reconnect to my grandpa’s memory.

Giving a gift of time costs nothing and brings great joy. All the best gifts connect the giver to the getter through the gift. My favorite gift to Tommy was a gift-wrapped package of frankincense and myrrh I sent to him with a note, “Merry Christmas, Tommy. Like the wise men of old, here is a Christmas gift of frankincense and myrrh. Get your own gold!)

Last winks…

Q: My wife and I have been avid readers of the Sunday LI Newsday for years, and always look forward to reading your and duly departed Father Tom's stories. I needed to voice my opinion on the continuous God winks. We find it interesting to read the many stories people have sent you about their loved ones who have passed and the earthly experiences they have received. That said, can you please start moving forward on the many other subjects you and your readers have spoken about that may relate to people in their lives? Don't mean to be passive-aggressive just needed to express our thoughts. Keep up the good Godly work! – (From D&D)

A: I agree with you and I do not believe that you were being passive-aggressive at all – just aggressive. Just kidding. This holiday season and the new year seems to me to be a good time to close the God winks file (for a bit) and return to the other interfaith questions that have always inspired and informed this column.

Tommy and I both felt that the big questions of life were not sectarian but universal. So let us turn to the well of wisdom we inherit from our ancient religious traditions and explore together where we stand. So, please send to me, dear readers, your biggest questions about our life here on planet earth and I will share with you our inherited wisdom, as I see it.

Thanks again for all the God winks and we will certainly return to them at some time in the future after we have answered all the big questions about the meaning of life.

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)

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