Erika Ettin: How much time should you spend on dating apps? You might be surprised
Published in Lifestyles
If you have screen time alerts on your phone, you already know that you probably spend more time than you are really willing to admit looking at that device. And if you’re anything like the rest of the population (or just me? Can’t be just me), much more of that time is spent browsing Instagram or playing sudoku than making phone calls or checking emails. Add dating apps into the mix, and your eyeballs might be in serious need of a blue-light break.
But there’s actually good news to share about how much time you’re swiping left and right on dating apps: You can (and maybe should) reduce it.
A new survey commissioned by Forbes Health and conducted by OnePoll looked at 1,000 Americans who have been using dating apps in recent months. On average, the respondents reported spending around 51 minutes each day on dating apps, with women hanging around slightly longer than men (52.3 minutes vs. 49.3 minutes). When broken down by generation, millennials are spending the most time at 55.7 minutes per day, while baby boomers are clocking the least amount of time on the apps, averaging 36.8 minutes.
However, Rufus Tony Spann, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist, suggested limiting dating app usage to around 30 minutes at a time. Not only that, but those 30 minutes shouldn’t be all at once but rather in increments.
I know what you’re thinking. “But surely spending more time on dating apps can only benefit me, right? What if I miss someone’s message because I didn’t see it quickly enough? Or someone finds a connection in the hours that I’m away from my phone and unmatches me?”
According to Spann, spending too much time on dating apps can lead to negative outcomes. Those who spend extended periods scrolling through profiles could fall into categories such as addiction to swiping, seeking a social or emotional distraction, or just looking for an ego boost — and that’s not what we want. It can quickly lead to online dating fatigue, making the process even more difficult than it already is.
Your time on the apps should be productive: reading promising profiles, exchanging messages with the ones you find interesting and planning to meet in person for a date. When you’re bored and mindlessly scrolling through bios while watching "The Bachelorette," it’s time to put down the phone and do something else. As with anything else, dating apps should be used in moderation.
Judy Ho, Ph.D., a certified and licensed clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, told Forbes: “If it’s taking you away from other meaningful activities in your life, or you find that you can’t stop and constantly think about using the app when you’re not using it, then those might be signs of problems.”
To make the most of those precious minutes on apps, don’t open Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, or any other related platform unless you’re ready to concentrate on it. No TV on in the background, no eating your meal — just focus on the app. You might also find it helpful to set a 15-minute timer (twice a day) for your swiping sessions. When it goes off, so does the phone.
Voila. If you were spending the survey’s average of 51 minutes per day on dating apps, you just found 20 more minutes in your day — and you might find they’re even more productive in your dating life than swiping. Feel rejuvenated from a phone call with a friend, try a new recipe or take a hike. Who knows? That hike might lead to the photo that goes on your dating profile and makes someone swipe right.
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