The Topics Themselves Were Never The Problem
Miss Manners does not want to limit topics; she just wants to limit the way they are discussed. People who listen respectfully to those with whom they disagree, refrain from using personal invectives, state their points objectively and, if necessary, accept that differences remain, should be able to hold conversations on any topic with those who observe the same courtesies.
But such people seem to be in short supply now.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there an appropriate, polite way to handle toxic family members that you have had no contact with in years, who, when they do happen to run into you in a public place, insist on hugging you and saying they love you? When in fact, their actions over your entire life have proven otherwise?
I don't feel as though I should be subject to these uncomfortable and definitely unwanted encounters, nor do I have any feelings of love for these individuals.
Is there a polite way to avoid the physical contact and the "I love you," which I have no response for at all?
GENTLE READER: It is difficult to escape a hug in public without inspiring passersby to call the police. But just as you do not echo the declaration of love, you need not cooperate with the hug. Just let your arms remain at your side, Miss Manners suggests.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2024 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2024 JUDITH MARTIN
