ArcaMax

Dear Annie: A woman, "Patty," who pursued my husband 10 years ago, attends church with me. During this time, my husband alerted me to her efforts, and it culminated with her answering her home's front door in only a towel. Patty had called him to pick something up. My husband, fearing her aggressive flirting, demanded I come with him. So instead of my husband, I was standing there when she answered the door. I remarked at the time, "I apologize for interrupting your naked time." I also apologized to my husband for minimizing his concerns about Patty.

Ten years later, I have gone out of my way to forgive her for the past, and I am openly friendly and kind to her. However, recently, I've suspected she is bringing me up during the church prayer request time when I am not in attendance. The pastor of our small church asks the congregation who they would like to pray for, and first names are shouted out. I have witnessed her shouting my first name when I watch the church service online. My name is not common. I have had a couple people ask if I am OK. Patty has not shouted my name when I attend in person. Should I continue with no response and be friendly, or should I address it in some way? -- Needing Prayers for No Drama

Dear Needing Prayers: If you feel up to it, confront "Patty" kindly but directly about these public prayer shoutouts. This shows her you're aware of what she's doing even if you're not in person at these services, but it also allows an opportunity for you two to officially clear the air after a decade of awkwardness.

It says a great deal about your character that you so graciously forgave Patty for her extremely inappropriate behavior toward your husband. While we don't know what her motives are these days, perhaps she thinks that by praying for you, she is being gracious in return.

Dear Annie: I'm writing in regards to "Heartbroken Cancer Survivor," who has short-term memory loss from chemo treatments and feels she annoys her family when she repeats questions and conversations she can't remember. She said she feels like she has no voice in her own house.

I am an occupational therapist and used to work with patients who had traumatic brain injuries. They also deal with short-term memory loss. What we teach them to do is carry a notebook with them and write down questions/answers, dates, the day's calendar etc., so instead of "Heartbroken" asking the same question over and over, once she asks and is answered, she can write the information down and refer back to it. This is also useful to put the day's schedule in, the menu for the day, etc. I hope this might help "Heartbroken" with her situation. -- Hoping to Help

Dear Hoping: Thank you for your letter. Several other readers wrote in with this very suggestion. Many others sang the praises of speech-language pathologists in related specialties and their ability to potentially help with recovery.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.