ArcaMax

Dear Annie: I have a friend I'll call "Scott." We have known each other for 15 years or so and have been retired for the last few years. He enjoyed working before he retired due to a plant closure.

Now Scott drinks from 8 a.m. until 2 or so in the afternoon. He is in good spirits in the morning but is an absolutely depressed person by 2. He tries to tell you that the world sucks now compared to when we grew up. It's so hard to listen to him go on about this.

I want to tell him that he needs help, but I am afraid to do so. I can't even hang out with him due to his problem. I know where to send him for help but have no idea on how to send him there. -- Want My Friend Back

Dear Want: Your concern for Scott is totally valid. It sounds like he's been stuck in a bad place for quite some time, and he might not even realize how out of control things have gotten.

When he's sober, share your worries with him. Let him know you want to help him if he's open to it and that ultimately, you just want to see him happy again. You can't force Scott to stop drinking, but the reminder that he has you cheering in his corner might do more good than you know. Check out an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, too. You are sure to hear helpful suggestions from people who have been there.

Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our 70s. We have friends who are in their 40s, with two kids (6 and 4). We have gone out to lunches with the four of them, and it's always been a bad experience. The kids tear through the restaurant and scream. It's becoming very embarrassing. The next time they invite us, we don't want to be in a restaurant again. We don't want to go to their place because the wife is a hoarder and there is only one room we can sit in -- and besides, the kids still run and scream in their own home. They can come to our place, but they still tear around.

What do we do or say the next time they invite us for lunch? -- Tired of Chaos

Dear Tired: The energy of young kids is unmatched, so it's understandable that you're frustrated. Next time your friends invite you to lunch, why not suggest a place with ample outdoor space so the kids can run around? Some restaurants offer outdoor areas with lawns and sometimes even a playground. Or perhaps you could organize a picnic in a park, so the children can get all their energy out without disrupting the adults. Another option is to invite them over to your house and, provided the parents are OK with it, put on a movie for the kids, complete with popcorn and blankets.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.