"Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity."

~ Frank Leahy

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"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left."

~ Oscar Levant

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"It is only possible to ...Read More

"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

"Can we ...Read More

An old man was a witness in a burglary case.

The defense lawyer asked Richard, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"

"Yes," said Richard , "I saw him plainly take the goods."

The lawyer asks Richard again, "...Read More

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.

Well pull yourself together then .

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Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.

Next please!

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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me.

One at a ...Read More

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an ...Read More

Patton talks about voting early, voting for Kamala and concerns for the future, why he loves phonebanking, the craziest call he ever made, the new series “Shatter Belt,” being one of the writers of a new comic book ...Read More