FRESNO, Calif. — Weeks before Matias Bernal migrated to the United States from Mexico City in 2002, he and his younger sister were held at gunpoint by three strangers who ambushed them on their way to school.

The would-be abductors forced the siblings to get inside their vehicle and drove away, releasing Bernal’s sister about 15 minutes later. Sensing that they weren’t going to let him go and fearing for his life, Bernal, then 14, jumped out of the moving vehicle and ran toward a freeway tollbooth to cry for help.

Since crossing the border in San Ysidro by himself, Bernal reunited with family in Fresno, graduated high school at the top of his class and earned his doctorate of philosophy from UC Irvine. As executive director of the Fresno-based Education & Leadership Foundation, Bernal leads a nonprofit providing immigration services to people who, like him, seek to escape their countries’ violence and tumult and make the Central Valley their home.

But, despite his success, Bernal has not been able to evade a perpetual fear of deportation.

A recipient of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, or DACA, Bernal has some legal protection from deportation. The program’s future, though, is uncertain as President-elect Donald Trump prepares to take office. Trump has vowed to pursue mass deportations and end policies such as DACA and birthright citizenship.

Last week’s Border Patrol operation in Kern County reminded Bernal of his tenuous legal status in the country and brought anxiety over whether Trump will follow through on his promise to launch “the largest deportation program in American history.”

“I knew at an early age and with the way that I had come to the United States that I was not able to share with folks outside of my immediate family about my status,” said Bernal, now 36. “I learned early on what it meant to be illegal.”

“I knew from that early point that I was not going to be given the same opportunities as other folks,” he said. “I was worried, and I was afraid that at any point I could do something wrong that could get me in trouble or that immigration could show up.”

Living under constant fear

Bernal said growing up undocumented in Fresno in the early 2000s meant constantly living in fear of deportation and having to avoid “a high number of checkpoints.”

He was especially worried when it came to school events that involved traveling outside of the state — or even within the state to areas like San Diego where he knew there was heavy immigration enforcement.

“I avoided anything having to do with any traveling because of that,” Bernal said.

Coming to a new school where everything was in a different language was challenging for Bernal, yet he learned English quickly and graduated from McLane High School in 2006 as valedictorian and Fresno Unified’s student of the year. He graduated from Fresno State in 2011 with a bachelor’s degree in political science and criminology. He earned his master’s degree in criminology and psychology at Fresno State in 2012.

Bernal has not experienced anyone from his immediate family being deported. But when his sister attempted to cross the border at age 16, she was detained and stayed at a detention facility for about a month, he said.

“I understand very well what it’s like to not be able to communicate with a loved one in a detention facility and to be sort of on hold, and to be sort of on pins and needles to see what’s happening,” Bernal said.

Despite his status as a DACA recipient, Bernal doesn’t have a pathway to obtaining legal status. DACA, created in 2012 by former President Barack Obama, protects undocumented immigrants who came to the U.S. as children from deportation and provides work authorization and Social Security numbers.

Bernal, who has been a DACA recipient since 2013, said that while “Dreamers” like him don’t have a pathway to legal status, DACA has allowed him to pursue higher education and a fulfilling career.

“It allowed me to, for the first time ever, have something like benefits, to have time off, to buy a car, to get an apartment, to get a credit card, those kind of things, because now I have a Social Security that I could utilize to do all of that,” Bernal said.

Financial and emotional toll

As DACA recipient, Bernal must apply to renew his status every two years and pay the fees (which increased in April 2024 to $555, if renewed online, and $605 if renewed via mail) that allow him to work and travel within the United States.

“It does not give us a pathway to residency. It does not give us a pathway to citizenship, and it does not take the undocumented status from our lives because we are still in this place of reapplying just to be here,” Bernal said. “What DACA really means is that (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) will not prosecute our deportation or removal. It’ll defer it.”

Trump vowed to end the DACA program during his first term. The state of Texas also led the charge to terminate DACA, with the case going all the way to the United States Supreme Court. The court held that the way the president tried to eliminate DACA was problematic, kicking it back to the lower courts. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit has since paused all initial applications and is only allowing DACA renewals to continue.

While there is a financial burden when reapplying for DACA every two years, there is also an emotional toll of the uncertainty over whether the application will be approved.

And if its approved when it will be approved processing times can vary even when renewals are submitted within the recommended 90-to-180-day timeline.

Bernal said Trump’s inauguration Monday has resurfaced the stress and fear he experienced during Trump’s first term, particularly after his 2018 announcement to end DACA, which was later halted by the courts.

“The first administration was very scary, and it was very demoralizing to think that as a country, we were moving in that direction,” Bernal said. “And I say we because I consider myself to be part of this community, and I love this country, and I call it my home.”

Bernal said knowledge is the best way to combat that fear. Since November, he has been busy meeting with families of undocumented immigrants and coordinating “know your rights” informational sessions. He’s told anyone who needs to hear it that everyone in the country, regardless of who’s president, has constitutional rights whether or not they are U.S. citizens.

“Information is power, and education is the best way to overcome that fear,” Bernal said.

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