My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a ...Read More

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ”Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious and continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the petstore again and the parrot once more said...Read More

My husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that would match the color of his eyes. Does anyone know where I can buy a bloodshot tie?

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two Arkansas truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3". They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4".

"What do you think?" one asked the...Read More

What happens when geese land in a volcano?
They cook their own gooses!

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon!

What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis!

What did the farmer ...Read More

At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found fairest. There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in the back raised his hand. "The ...Read More