At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found fairest. There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in the back raised his hand. "The poll tax," he said.

"But the poll tax was repealed," replied the commissioner.

"Ay-yuh," declared the man, "that's what I like...Read more

-- Aquarium: interactive television for cats.

-- Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.

-- Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.

-- Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.

-- Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.

-- Dog: a cat's device for running practice.

-- Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows ...Read more

No one ever says: "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?

He set a new lap record.

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.

Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn't stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to ...Read more

Six year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not suppose to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by ...Read more

One evening during a poker game, a man was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a man and was able to join the army.

"But, wait a minute," said one listener. "Your sister will have to dress with the boys and shower with them, too. Won't she?"

"Sure," replied the man.

"Well, won't they find out?" asked another ...Read more

Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group.

An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would like galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a ...Read more

An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.

Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.

Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"

...Read more

Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"

Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

"You want me to pick up the...Read more

I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I called the salesclerk over and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"

He said, "That means that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal."

"In other words," I said...Read more

Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

A: She turned it over and used the other side.