Regular readers will know of my ongoing war against my kitchen appliances, or rather, their war against me. So will occasional readers. I write about it perhaps too often.

So it is only fair that I report on a singular relationship I have with a new appliance. It is deep. It is passionate.

I think we can call it love.

We laugh together, and watch silly romantic comedies on Netflix. Sometimes we take long walks on the moonlit beach, hand in power cord.

The object of my affection is a rice cooker. To be specific, the object of my affection is a Zojirushi Neuro Fuzzy Rice Cooker & Warmer, and yes, I think “neuro fuzzy rice” are three words that should never, under any circumstances, appear together in that order. Or any order.

For years, I resisted even the thought of getting a rice cooker. I am perfectly capable of cooking my own rice. I liked finding the delicate balance of rice, water, flame height and time that yields perfect rice every time.

But it never was perfect rice. At my best, I made very good rice, which is no small feat.

(Here is the recipe: Rinse the rice several times until the water runs clear. Place two parts of rice in three parts of water — 1 cup of rice in 1½ cups of water, for instance — add salt and let rest 30 minutes.

Bring to a boil uncovered over high heat and boil until the level of water is just at the top of the rice, which will have pitted indentations. Cover and continue cooking at the lowest possible heat for 15 minutes, without removing the lid. Remove from the heat and let rest, covered for 5 minutes. Fluff with a fork before serving.)

I would have been happy making rice that way for the rest of my life. Even so, I would have been a little jealous of the people who use rice cookers to make perfect rice.

But then I read a single sentence that rocked my world, albeit in a very small way. I can’t remember what it said exactly, but the gist of it was that everybody in Japan uses a Zojirushi rice cooker to make their rice.

Around the same time, I saw a story in Food & Wine that called the Zojirushi the best rice cooker on the market.

I’m easily swayed. I was hooked.

It was last November or December, just before the holidays. I ordered one. Not the fanciest, the Induction Heating System Rice Cooker, which is what Food & Wine recommended so highly. Instead, I got, as you will recall, the Neuro Fuzzy Rice Cooker & Warmer. It was $100 less than the Induction Heating model, but it was still plenty expensive.

Neuro Fuzzy is the company’s registered name for a system that allows the cooker to determine the optimal cooking time and temperature for the weight of the rice and water that it is cooking.

Does it work? I don’t know. But something works right, because the rice I have been making has been uniformly and unerringly perfect. Each grain is cooked just the right amount, and it clumps together nicely just as it does at an Asian restaurant.

Mine has 10 settings, for white rice (cooked to regular texture, softer or harder), mixed rice, porridge, sweet, semi-brown, brown, rinse-free and quick-cooking.

I’ve used it on only two settings, regular white and brown. I’m a regular-white-and-brown-rice kind of guy. But I may make rice porridge — congee in Chinese, okayu in Japanese — some day. It is said to be wonderfully comforting.

I can believe it. Rice is probably my favorite carbohydrate, next to bread. I make it so often because I like it so much.

But I don’t actually love it. Love is a rare emotion, a passion that can only be experienced, never explained.

My rice maker and I have something special. You couldn’t understand.

©2024 STLtoday.com. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.